There is a lot of talk today about living “in the moment”. And on the other end of the spectrum we hear a lot about “setting a vision” or a goal to keep us going where we want to go. So which is it? In the moment or creating a vision? I say both!
As this blog is focused on relationships, I will use relationships as the base to work around for discussing this balancing act of “living in the moment” and “creating a vision” for what we want. And I do think it is a real balancing act and that it will probably look a bit different for each couple or family. I do think that we all struggle with this question or opposing viewpoint on how we live our lives. So how can we have both in our relationships? Let’s first look at the two, at first look, very different philosophies of how we live our lives and relate to our loved ones. And then how we might possibly combine these two different ideas.
What does “in the moment” really mean??? Well, most feel this is living fully within the place and time you are given. Really being “in the present” and not focusing on the past or the future. Concentrating on the time and place you are in and who you are with and the gift of the interaction between the two of you. It is a lovely thought and can have a very freeing feeling to only be in the here and now and really focusing on your loved one.
Then there is the “vision makers”. Those who want to create visions and goals. There are some differences here I suppose as to visions and goals and how folks define these words. This may look very different for different folks. But my version would be creating visions or goals that are what we feel would most fit our lives and in this case fit our relationships. For example: the vision of what you want your relationship to look like and concretely making that happen to the best of your ability.
So can we have both, I say yes we can. We can create visions and goals for our relationships and work to make them happen. Of course, jointly deciding what we both want and creating a “joint vision” is the most healthy and satisfying for both people in the relationship. Then within that framework we fully enjoy the moments we have with each other and we take the time to really “be with” the ones we love. Basically, I am suggesting we CHOOSE to jointly “create a vision” of what we both want for our relationship and we go for it, meaning we pull out all the stops to make that happen. And we enjoy this wonderful ride with each other. Yes there will be bumps along the way, but we have each other to hang onto! Here is the to wonderful roller coaster of life. Enjoy!
Excellent article and useful advice for beginning marriages and relationships through advanced double digit marriages and relationships. Thank you!
Thanks. I am glad you liked it.