Practical Strategies to Balance Self and Relationships. Enriching and Caring for Both. Continue reading
Our Individual Well Being & Strong Relationships – How They Can Compliment Each Other
Creating More of What YOU Want
What do you want? Deciding what is most important to you is the big question.
Let’s break this down, so we can think more clearly about this big question.
1. What do you want most?
2. How do I want to feel each and every day?
3. If I see it visually what would it look like?
4. What would I be hearing, what would the people in my life be saying to me.
Yes, it is more complicated than the above questions, but we can keep the “what do I want in this life” question, as a foundation for our life or we can put this in the mix as we navigate this time we have on this earth.
Another way to approach this is to think about the different parts of our life and ask the above questions to make this more specific as the answers that you may come up with. Some categories to consider:
- My Personal Life
- My Professional / Work Life
- My Purpose and Meaning
- My Family
“Creating more of what you want is a process. Step by step you can create the life you want and most desire.” – Tanna Strom
ACTION STEP TO MOVE TOWARD WHAT YOU MOST WANT
Back to the 4 questions above. Try to sit with what you most want in a peaceful place and ask these questions and try to feel, visualize and hear what it would be like to be living this desire you have of what you most want.
Strom Individual & Family Therapy
Tanna K Strom, MS, LMFT, LPC/S, RPT/S
Clinical EFT Certified Practitioner
In-Person & Virtual in OK
918-749-1550
5 Ways to Help You Get Through the Holidays if You Are Grieving
The holidays can be stressful for all of us. If you have had a recent loss or even one that is significant and years ago, it is even more challenging. We are all unique in how we grieve and that is important to take into account as to looking at the strategies I have listed. Doing what is best for you and your children is what is a general guiding principle.
1. ASSESS WHAT YOU & YOUR CHILDREN NEED FOR THE UPCOMING HOLIDAYS
Some questions that may help you access what you need.
- What does your gut say what you need for yourself and / or for your children?
- What kind of triggers are coming up for you and / or your children as the holidays approach? Note: Your children can be a toddler or a young adult or a not so young adult. They are always our children and part of being a parent is to help them through hard times.
- What do you feel would be too much for you and your children?
- What do you feel would feel best for you? Being at home? Activities outside of home? With what kind of balance?
- Who do you want to be with / who feels supportive and really gets what is going on for you?
- Are there some things that you absolutely do not want to do during the holidays?
- Is there a way or ways you want to honor the person you have lost throughout the holidays?
2. DEVELOP A CUSTOM PLAN THAT IS BEST FOR YOU WITH SETTING NEEDED BOUNDARIES
- Plan early.
- Be flexible. Have some plan B’s. Consider not forcing what it turns out you really do not want to do in regard to what you originally planned. Or just feels like it is too much. It is ok to shift to what is needed.
- Try to be respectful of your children’s grieving style, especially if it is different than yours. And be respectful of your own as well.
- Decide what folks you want to spend time with and set up these together times early on so they can get be set in the busy holiday season. Plan as many get togethers as you feel you and your children need or want.
- Sometimes we have well meaning friends or family that want us to do something we are not ready to do or may never want to do. This is up to us. We know what is best for us. We can respectably set boundaries or do what makes the most sense for us.
3. REMEMBERING ALL OF YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID AND THERE IS NO NORMAL
- As we grieve, we find that our feelings are like waves – up and down. It is ok to feel all of our feelings, the uncomfortable, distressing feelings and it is ok as well to have happy feelings too. Accepting our hard feelings is the first step in healing.
- We will always have parts of the person we lost with us. And it is ok to miss them. And it is ok to continue a relationship with them, just in a different way. Incorporating what our individual beliefs are about after death can be helpful. This will vary for each person.
4. WHAT KIND OF SUPPORT DO YOU NEED &. PUTTING IT IN PLACE EARLY
- Putting things in place early is important. This is particularly important with our support people. Everyone’s schedules get very busy during holiday months. And for most of us, we have an inner circle of people that really get us and help us through our toughest times. It is not a bad. thing to broaden our support network, just for this reason noted.
- Of course, it may be a friend, a family member or a church or group we identify with that know what we are going through. This can help us to not feel so alone. Of course, some. people feel we are never truly alone, depending on your beliefs.
5. COPING STRATEGIES FOR THE HOLIDAYS
Having some ‘go to coping strategies’ for our grief is helpful. There is nothing wrong with expressing our feelings, but there may be times we choose to shift and reach for a better feeling. For some this is when we know we are going to be in a group and we want to keep it together or it may be we want to be in more calm and together way if we feel our children need this from us if they are going through a tough time. Or to be functional at our work place. For the purpose of this brief blog article, I will list general options you can explore. Keep note of what works for you.
- Deep Breathing
- Positive Affirmations or Positive Self Talk
- Tapping
- Havening
- Journaling
- Meditation
- Yoga
- Walking Outside or Any Kind of Movement
- Eye Rest – Progressive Relaxation
- Container for Upset or Passing on to Higher Power
- Pleasant Distraction
- Soft, Relaxing Music or Healing Music
- Being Out in Nature
- Having a Form of Communication with the Person Who Has Passed
- Regular Time Being with a Trusted Support Person Who Gets You and Does Not Judge
- Working with a Therapist on a Regular Basis
- Taking Grief Breaks / Doing Something You Enjoy
Online Oklahoma Women’s Grief Group – Connection and Support for the Holidays
For those of you who live in OK, I am offering an Online Oklahoma’s Women’s Group – Connection & Support During the Holidays. This will be held November 4 – December 9 on Tuesday mornings, 9:00 -10:30 am, Oklahoma Central Time.
Click the link below at the bottom of this page to see more detailed information on this upcoming group. Registration is due by this Friday, October 31, as this group starts next Tuesday, 9:00 – 10:30 am ,November 4 – December 9.
Contact Tanna to register: 918-749-1550 or tanna@stromtherapy.com
I can also do custom groups and can see individuals or families for grief counselling – In Person or Online. You can find out more about my practice on my website: www.stromtherapy.com
Below is the link to the flyer for the “Online, OK Women’s Grief Group – Connection and Support for the Holidays” I am offering.
https://t.e2ma.net/webview/xuq03h/ede4eccf8619d1cddbd6b1e506419fc1
NEW OK Women’s Online Grief Group for Support During the Holidays, November 4 – December 9, 2025, on Tuesdays, 9:00 – 10:30 am
Help to Feel Better and Have Confidence Going Through the Holidays
The holidays are hard for those who have had a loss and are grieving. It could be a spouse or a partner or child or parent or others that have been significant for us. The holidays are a reminder of our loss and come with triggers bringing up feelings that can be very distressing.
This women’s support group can be helpful in being with others who are experiencing similar feelings. It is so nice to have someone “get us” when we are in a grieving state.
Each session will cover a specific topic that be of help to you and also time for reflection and communication with the others in the group. This group is limited to 10 women.
It is possible for a custom group to be set up if you have a group that would like to set this up. This is for those who live in Oklahoma as my mental health licensures are in Oklahoma.
If you live in OK and are looking for a convenient online group for support and connection during the holidays with like minded people, check out the link below to access the flyer with all the details on this 6 week support group.
https://t.e2ma.net/webview/lhkh2/69a896499e9f3d13a46c8570c346d846
I am Tanna Strom, LMFT, LPC-S, Clinical EFT Certified Practitioner and am the facilitator for this group. You can get in touch with me at my business number, 918-749-1550 or tanna@stromtherapy.com if you have questions or want to register.
You Are Not Alone, Grief Support Group for Women Who Have Lost Their Husbands
Hello. My name is Tanna Strom and I am a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Licensed Marital & Family Therapist in the state of Oklahoma. I have significant training and experience in working with individuals who are grieving. I am in process of starting an online grief group for woman who have lost their husbands. This group is for those who live in the state of Oklahoma.
You Are Not Alone – Support for Women Who Have Lost Their Spouse
Facilitated by Tanna K Strom, LMFT, LPC-S, RPT-S, Clinical EFT Certified Practitioner
You Are Not Alone – Support for Women Who Have Lost Their Husbands
- Weekly, Online, Closed Support Grief Group
- Wednesdays, 12 – 1 pm
- September 10 – October 15. 2025
- 6 Week Interactive Group, New Topic Each Week
- Limit of 10 to Keep Interactive for All
- Register By September 3, 2025
- Open to Anyone in Oklahoma
Finding Your Path On Your Grief Journey
The focus will be as follows:
There is a topical focus for each of the 6 meetings. The agenda will be flexible taking into account the needs of the group members.
September 10 – The Grief Journey
September 17 – Finding Support
September 24 – Our Feelings
October 1 – Coping Strategies
October 8 – More Coping Strategies
October 15 – Finding Purpose
Note 1 : There will be a handout with practical information sent to each member after each session.
Note 2: Bring Lunch If You Wish As This Meeting is Noon Time.
The group is a balance of support and practical information to consider for use to help at this time.
How to Sign Up
Please call me if you want to sign up or if you have questions. This will help us to decide if this group is a fit for you.
My business number is 918-749 – 1550. OR you may email me at tanna@stromtherapy.com or simply respond to this email. Fees for this online support for the 6 week series is $150. and needed to reserve your spot for this 10 person group.
This is a place where all beliefs are respected in regard to the passing of one’s spouse. All of our grief journeys are unique. It is a place to feel connected and safe.
I look forward to sharing part of your grief journey. You are not alone. If you want to know more about me, go to my website www.stromtherapy.com
“What if . . . ?” Creating Hope and Positive Momentum to Feeling Better
As a therapist, I am always looking for ways to introduce hope and open the door to feeling better. Sometimes we get stuck in feelings that do not feel good.
The Focus Being on the Positive “What If . . . ?” opposed to the Negative “What If . . . ?”
We all have probably at one time or another said with worry, “What if it doesn’t work out?” “What if the doctor’s report comes back bad?” Etc. These are normal. The “What If . . . ?” I am introducing is flipping the script on these negative “What If . . . ?” to positive “What If . . . ?” This can help open us to hope and a way to better feelings.
Our Feelings Are Our Guidance System
I am not discounting upset feelings. In fact, I embrace and accept and acknowledge all feelings. As I know that this is the first step in our journey to feeling better. As time goes on and we feel heard and validated, we can begin to work toward letting some hope and good feelings in.
Note: If we are talking about trauma or significant depression or mental health issues this may be a longer road and many times with the help of a licensed therapist or mental health provider.
Examples of Positive “What If . . .?”
“What if I feel better today?”
“What if something good happens today?”
“What if we get along better today?”
“What if I feel less sad today?”
“What if I eat at least one good thing for me today?”
“What if things work out for me?”
“What if I feel more peaceful today?”
What do your positive “What If . . . ?” starter sentences look like? Start your day out with what makes sense for you at the time. For an extra boost, go back to your positive “What If . . . ?” if you feel your self going negative. You can acknowledge the upset and then go to your positive “What if . . ?” that can make you feel better. Best wishes in using this strategy to feel more hopeful, letting in better feelings.
Important Note: This blog is not therapy but a psycho-educational article. If you have a trauma background or significant depression or other mental health issues, a licensed therapist or mental health provider would be best to consult with.
Strom Individual & Family Therapy – Tanna K Strom, LMFT, LPC-S, RPT-S and Clinical Certified EFT Practitioner. Providing In Person and Online Services in Oklahoma. www.stromtherapy.com
Making Your Own Easter Baskets – Fun and Inclusive Activity for All Ages
Making Easter Fun for All = Creating Playful, Connection
Easter is a time for family, friends and loved ones to gather and celebrate in their own special ways. Most of us will include an egg hunt or a few special activities to include in this special day. What we don’t always think about is doing something that all ages can take part in. Or can be done regardless of the weather outside.
This could take place of an egg hunt or in addition to. And there is more than one way this activity could be done.
- Each Family or Person Brings Small Easter Gifts for the Other Participants to Exchange – And each person brings their own Easter basket or Easter sack or whatever container they choice for their “Easter Basket”. These can be arranged as in the pic above or however you so desire. Basically this is set up for each. person to come and select items they want to put in their basket and they can, in addition, add some ribbons to their basket or whatever offering you have to decorate their baskets. Having a tag they can attach and decorate with their name will help with “mixups”. PROS: I like this version as everyone is involved and sharing small gifts for everyone. And it helps the host as to not having to do all the gathering and paying for all the items.
OR
- The Host Provides All of the Small Easter Gifts for Putting in the Easter Baskets or Easter Sacks, etc. Easter Containers Can Be Provided by the Host or the Participants. This can help to keep it simple and if the host likes doing this kind of thing.
- The Host will probably want to provide grass for the baskets and ribbon and tags to decorate and id the baskets. Or the host can ask a few folks to help with this as their contribution to the project.
IDEAS FOR PLACES TO BUY SMALL GIFTS: Think Dollar Store, or Another Discount Store, Bulk Buying Stores.
POSSIBLE INEXPENSIVE ITEMS: mini note pads, hair ties, mini bag of paper clips, mini bag of batteries, mini candles, baby oranges or apples, baby boxes of raisins, pencils, stickers, mini bubbles, mini play doughs, etc. OR something you have a bunch of from a bulk buy.
GIFTS FROM THE HEART: A Homemade, Healthy or Sweet Treat, Easter Compliments for Each Person (could be put in an Easter egg – done specifically for each person), A Poem or Quote Or Inspirational Message, etc, I really like this option as it addresses what we really need – love, meaning, and connection.
OTHER THINGS TO CONSIDER: Including gifs for different interests, young and older. Maybe doing different colours of one item for a choice. Choosing things that are on the smaller side to fit in a basket or small sack.
SPECIAL NOTE ABOUT COOPERATIVE EGG HUNTS FOR ALL AGES: In my blog collection you should be able to find my ideas and personal experience with doing ‘”cooperative egg hunts” with individual eggs marked for each person. This is to move away from some children upset as they did not gather as many eggs as others. Plus, I always include adults in my cooperative hunts. Oh what fun to see folks help each other find their eggs.
To me the important thing is to create interactive, playful activities that your loved ones can all do together, creating connection and a sense of belonging – what a beautiful Easter gift you have created!
No one is you and that is your SUPER POWER!
I went to a therapy training recently on the use of media in relationship to super heroes and villains, using innovative ways to help clients find their own unique Super Powers. I have written about Super Powers before. This is just a bit of an additional twist to my original post.
One of the exercises we were asked to do was to choose a super hero or villain that we identified with. I just went with my gut and choose “Super Woman”. The version I know is a woman who is strong and resilient and courageous as she overcomes adversity and grief. She is also a protector. For a variety of reasons, I could identify. The activity, of course, was for us to get in touch with our own unique strengths or those that are there within us that we want to bring to the forefront to aid us in our journey called life.
I found this “no one is you . . . ” poster above recently and had to purchase it, as it really resonated with me. The whole concept that it is our own unique self that is our Super Power is so self empowering. We each have our own unique combination of characteristics and personality and gifts. It is our own special blend of our Super Power.
I hope you too will look within and find your own unique mix that makes you who you are and what is always there for you to use in your daily life or in times of worry or upset.
Here is to all of us and the wonderful gifts we can draw on for ourselves and also as a gift to others and the world around us.
What character or super hero do you identify with?
PERFECTLY IMPERFECT HOLIDAYS ~creating a meaningful holiday ~
Focusing on what we most want can help us to create the meaningful, joyful holiday we most desire. It is all about deciding what we most want. Here are a few questions you can ask yourself or your spouse / partner or your family to figure out what feels most meaningful to you. If you are living as a couple or have a family, you might consider doing a family meeting and considering the questions below. And then trying to incorporate what you all most want into your plans.
Note: If you are single or live alone, you can still go through this process to determine what you can create that gives you the most meaningful holiday.
- What would your best holiday LOOK LIKE to you or your family?
- What would you or your family FEEL LIKE if you were experiencing this meaningful holiday.
- What words or phrases DESCRIBE YOUR VISION of a meaningful holiday?
Here are some words / phrases you and your family can choose from as to what you might feel fits for your meaningful holiday. You can add your own words / phrases that describe what most fits for you.
Special Holiday Activities (what specific activities do you want to include)
Spending Time Together (how much time together and how)
Feeling Connected (what would it look like to be connected)
Having Fun (how would you know. you are having fun)
Special Foods (what foods would that be for you)
Religious / Spiritual Activities (what specific things do you want to do or not do in this category)
Special Traditions to Include or New Ones to Start (which ones do you want to see happen)
Down Time / Relaxing / At Home Time (how much would you want to feel balanced & feel good among so much going on during the holidays)
Consider Including the following as you plan this purpose driven holiday:
BE realistic, giving time to breathe and create space in between to really enjoy what you do choose to do.
BE flexible, allowing imperfections and interruption of plans.
BE who you are with doing what means the most to you, remembering you do not have to be perfect!
________________________________________________________________________________________
Special Note: This article is not intended as therapy. This is a psycho-educational article.
CONTACT INFORMATION :
Tanna K, Strom, LMFT, LPC-S, RPT-S
Virtual Therapy for Oklahoma
Licensed Marital & Family Therapist
Licensed Professional Counselor / Supervisor
Registered Play Therapist / Supervisor
Certified Clinical EFT Practitioner (aka “tapping” for anyone in the USA)
tanna@stromtherapy.com
918- 749-1550
What is Your Superpower?
“What is your Superpower?” Or maybe I should say “What are your Superpowers?” These are your beautiful strengths that can define you and make you strong and capable. Taking some time and remembering who you are with all your awesome strengths can help you create the life you desire.
So why focus on what your Superpowers or what your strengths are?
- They remind you of who you truly are – a person who is valuable and worthy.
- They help you to use your natural abilities to help you create the life you want.
- They can help you to access the answer or solution to your problem or worry.
- They can help you in times of distress or upset feelings.
- They enable you to access your talents to pursue your passions.
- They can be used to share what others may need – acts of kindness.
Be Happy. Use Your Superpowers. Be Uniquely You!
So how do I decide what my Superpowers are?
- What do you feel you are good at?
- What do others say you are good at?
- What attributes are you proud of about yourself?
- What makes you unique?
*** Write these Superpowers down and put them up somewhere so that you can remember that this is what makes you so special and one of a kind. You are meant to shine brightly. ***
Tanna K Strom, LMFT, LPC-S, RPT-S. Certified Clinical EFT Practitioner Online Therapy for Oklahoma http://www.stromtherapy.com tanna@stromtherapy.com 918-749-1555 http://www.facebook.com/stromtherapy
Special Note: This blog article is for educational purposes only and is not intended for therapy purposes. It is not medical or therapy advice.
creating branches 