Taking time to “BE WITH” your loved ones is not about adding in another activity or going another place. Even though it can be connecting to go someplace you all want to go and enjoy the experience together. To “BE WITH” is more about an internal state of being.
To “BE WITH’ will specifically involve the following:
- S L O W I N G down to set up the needed foundation for being with someone. This can be a real challenge for all of us, especially in the busy holiday season. But it is possible and doable. It may mean we have to make choices about what we do with our time. And choosing not to do certain things or changing how we do them.
- Finding times that are good for others to have this slowed down real interaction time is important too. Basically staying attuned to your loved ones and trying to sync up with each other. It may be you have to schedule this “BE WITH” time in your calendar. Of course this happening on a spontaneous basis also is important for any relationship.
- To “BE WITH” someone is about really being in that time and space with them fully – focusing only on them , listening will full attention and responding in a way that they know that they have really been heard. This kind of full focus feels so wonderfully connecting .
- Listen carefully to your loved one and reflect what you think they said. This acknowledging of their feeling is integral part of someone really feeling heard. It can be helpful to avoid rushing in with your advice or opinion.
- Being with children will include actively playing with them. For young children this is how they express themselves and how they connect with others.
Enjoy this wonderful gift you are giving to each other. Because it is a gift – one of giving your true self to each other. Relish this slowed down, moment to moment time with each other. Happy Holidays!