We all know ideally we should connect on a deeper level on a daily basis with our loved ones. We really want to connect, but sometimes we get busy or tired or distracted and it just does not happen. Putting a FEELING CHECK IN as part of your routine can help.
I have found it can help with connecting if we can set up a structured time to do a FEELING CHECK IN with each other. Here is what this might look like:
- Ideally, this would be daily. But if not daily this could be done whenever you can. You might consider a weekly check in if your family is really busy and you think this might be more likely to happen.
- This can be done as a couple or as a family or as a parent / child activity (If you have more than one child this could be done individually with each one of them privately.)
- If you connect your FEELING CHECK IN to another daily activity it is more likely to happen. For example: At the dinner table every night or with your child as part of their bedtime ritual.
- The format can be structured in a variety of ways and you can decide what works best for you and your loved ones. Some possible FEELING CHECK IN formats are listed below. You can of course come up with your own unique FEELING CHECK IN format that best fits your own unique family. You are the expert on your family!
- Tell me about your least favorite part of the day. What about your most favorite part of your day?
- What was the most exciting part of your day? What was the most boring part of your day? What about what made you feel happy today? Any sad things that happened to you? Or things that made you angry? Things you really feel proud of? (You can mix this up or do the same each day. Plus, you can decide for yourself what feelings you most want to highlight and how many you want to include). You will not want this to come off as an interrogation or as invasive. Teens may be particularly sensitive. One of the briefer formats may work best for them.
- On a 1 to 10, with 10 being the best how was your day today? What made it that way?
- What feeling did you have the most today?
- Tell me your top three feelings you had today.
If you are doing this activity as a family you will want to consider the ages of your children and what they will understand and most be able to relate to.
If you do this activity as a whole family (or as a parent / child or even as a couple) I feel care should be taken to protect privacy and need to not share, meaning someone should always be able to pass and not be pressured to reveal something they are not ready to share. Letting your children know they can always pass is important. We want to encourage sharing,but not force sharing.
Last of all when your loved one shares their feelings with you, be respectful with full attention and focus; acknowledging and reflecting without giving advice and questioning. They will love you for this unconditional, loving response! ♥ ♥