The Oklahoma Renaissance Festival – Last Two Weekends for This Family Friendly Activity

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This last weekend we went to the Oklahoma Renaissance Festival in Muskogee, OK. It is held at the Castle of Muskogee. This was our first time to attend this festival that recreates a 16th Century Renaissance English Village. The festival has a nice mix of performers and artisans and hands on activities and unique merchants and lots of food of course. This is a family friendly event. But it does appear that  for toddlers and pre-schoolers it may not be an ideal activity. If you decide to give it a try with very young children, you will find there are some activities that will be workable.  This would be the case for pre-schoolers opposed to toddlers. There appears to be something for almost all ages. It is a unique festival with lots of educational information about this Renaissance time period.

 

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Some of the performances that are part of the festival are the following:

In the Tournament Arena: Twice a day there is a Jousting Event.  We did have an opportunity to witness this event and found it very entertaining.  There is a Birds of Prey Performance in which you will see Falconers working with owls, buzzards, hawks and a falcon. You can experience Bronze Bells Music if you wish. I know there is a Scottish Bagpipes Performance as well.  This is only a partial listing.

On Somer’s Field: you will witness and participate if you like in a Maypole Dance.

At the Dragon’s Stage: Bob the Juggler performs.

You will find musicians and dancers and performers in the Village Center, the Crown Inn, at the Castle Keepe and in the Gypsy Camp. The Swordsmen are in the Italian Piazza and The Brothers Dimm are on the Mud Stage and much, much more.

 

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 The Woodlands are set up specifically for children. Activities such as making paper and marbles are activities for children to experience. Plus special games are available.

 

There is a set schedule for performances.  You might consider buying the one dollar guidebook which has this schedule. You can also get information on the events and schedule online at okcastle.com .  I would encourage you to check out their website so you can know what is available and go to those areas first if they are of special interest to you. This is something we did not do that I feel would have been helpful. We loved what we found in a spontaneous fashion but we also missed a few performances that I wish we would have known about.

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You will find the staff all in period dress of course. What I was surprised about was that many of the folks who attended where in period dress. We overheard one parent tell her child that they could find one item to add to their growing costume. It appeared that they chose one piece each year to add to their costume. What fun! Each day there is a costume contest at 2:00 pm at the Great Hall.

I hope you will have a chance to check this out if you have not done so in the past. The last day for this season is May 31, 2015. If you have activities you have really enjoyed or have tips for families as to attending this festival, please share.  Thanks! Best wishes for a fun family day.

Goal Setting with an Open, Flexible Twist

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light bulb with green sprout, taken from word clip, may 14, 2015

Want to reach your goals or BETTER? I am suggesting consideration of goal setting with an open, flexible twist. This allows you to access what life offers you unexpectedly.

Being able to shift and adapt easily can change your life. When you fight changing your well laid out plans you feel frustrated and disgruntled. You may even be flat-out angry. When you are able to be flexible and go with what life presents you may find that you feel happier and so much more at peace. Plus possibly discover something even better than you originally wanted.

I am a bit of a planner and I love to have goals. In fact I encourage my clients to have goals or to set intentions as what they want from life. Having a desired intention can help get you where you want to go. And better yet if you add a “flexible twist” to it.

It is somewhat of a two-sided coin as I promote having goals and  being flexible, open and adaptable. So here is the key idea:

Set your intention or your goal with the idea that you very much desire your goal OR “something that is BETTER”.

This opens up wonderful possibilities that you may have never dreamed of. So take the limits off of your goal or intention. You may find that being open to other ideas and thoughts about something that you desire may lead you to discover something that is exceedingly better than what you originally thought of.  A few examples:

  • You are wanting to get in better shape, but you know it will be hard taking time away from your partner. Your initial goal: “I will go to the gym two days a week to keep in shape OR something BETTER.”  You may find the gym works once a week realistically, but two times not so much. So a shift to one gym trip a week and adding nightly walks with your partner keeps you in shape and gives you time with your loved one.
  • You feel you are rushed every morning and it starts your day feeling anxious. Your initial goal: “I will get up every morning at 6:30 or something BETTER.”  You may find after you experiment with your new get up time that 6:30 helps but it still feels there is no time for you, but that 6:15 gives you that extra bit of time not to feel so rushed and time for a quick meditation. You love this new mini meditation at the beginning of the day.
  • You really want to lose some weight and feel just eating less will do the trick. Your initial goal: “I will lose 10 lbs by December by eating less food or something BETTER.” You may find that eating less food is helping but the weight is not coming off the way you planned,  but when you add exercising it gives you more energy and quicker weight loss. Yahoo!”
  • You are not happy with your job. You feel you have more potential. Your initial goal: “I will find a new place of employment by the end of the year.” You may find that as you explore possibilities that a new position opens that is a perfect fit for you with room to use more of your talents at your current place of employment.”

light bulbs green with hands and feeds jumping up clip art may 14 2015

 I have to say sometimes our plans going awry may not feel like it is better way. But you know the old saying “Take your lemons and make lemonade.” Take what feels like is a not good situation and use it as a jumping board into another place that is more workable and possibly better.

I am also not suggesting that we give up on our goals when things get tough. And just go with whatever comes along, but to be open to what else may be there that is even better. This is more about thinking thoughtfully and opening ourselves and not becoming stuck in feeling our goals must develop in a very specific way.

Best wishes in developing the fine art to being flexible and open to all the wonderful possibilities the universe has to offer us!

A Mother’s Day Letter for Your Super Mom

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mom in supermom cape

Want a mother’s day gift that your mom will treasure that shows your appreciation and love for her and all she has done?  Or maybe as the dad of children at home you are looking for an idea you can help your children create.  You might consider a “A Mother’s Day Letter”.  This is a wonderful way to focus on all the good that your mom has brought to you and to the world around her.

I was inspired to do this blog piece after reading an article by Reid Tracey, CEO of Hayhouse and his own personal letter to his mom.  And then just an added confirmation that I should champion this cause a bit when a friend recently told me of her adult daughter publishing a letter about her on face book. You can read this letter at the end of my post.

So here are my own thoughts on putting together a Mother’s Day Letter. First of all this could come in more than one format. I have suggested some formats below.

Letter to Your Own Mom

Letters from Your Children to Your Wife

Letter to the Mother of Your Children

Collection  of Letters to Mom (your whole family collecting them and presenting them together)

 

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Putting Your Mother’s Day Letter Together

  • Express Your Feelings of Thankfulness & Appreciation.  This can be a fairly comprehensive going back in time to your childhood or it can be a more recent focus. There is no wrong or right way of doing this of course. What do you want to say thank you for? What do you appreciate about her? What makes her so special? 
  • Highlight Times that Stand Out.  There may be a time that you know your mom sacrificed or put her own needs on hold to attend to and help you. You can share your thoughts about this. Or whatever feels like a fit to highlight.
  • Recall Memories that Have Special Meaning For You. We all have memories of happy times or times that stand out for us that are positive. Those can be used in this kind of letter.
  • Use Descriptive Praise.  This is basically writing out in detail your praise. An example: “Mom, I loved all the home cooked meals you made growing up. They were fresh from your garden and hand-made. Not a common thing in today’s world.”
  • Be Positive.   Only focus on the good here. This is not a letter to hash our disagreements or mix the good and not so good together. This is pure love and appreciation. No “barbed praise”.
  • Keep it Real .  Speak from your heart as to your true positive feelings about your mom. Even if you have had a challenging relationship, there are normally some things that you do appreciate that could be written about. Choose those things.
  • Do a Hand Written Letter if Possible    Decide if you want an old-fashioned handwritten letter or a clean, polished computer generated note. I might note that handwritten notes do add a personal touch that you cannot get with a computer note. But that all said they both count and will be appreciated.
  • Choose Some Fun or Elegant Paper. Make it special if you can. But if not no worries, she will still love it.
  • Consider a Drawing, a Poem or Quote to Add.  If you have younger children or teens who like to draw encourage them to include a drawing. She will cherish it forever.  Or if you draw by all means include a drawing to illustrate a point or just a general feeling or something that you feels fits with this letter. Adding a poem that makes you think of her can work well especially if she likes poetry. Or including a quote that is a fit for her can add another component to your letter.
  • Date Your Special Letter.  This extra touch will mean a lot when your special mom looks back in the future.
  • Wrap It Like It  Counts.  Your letter could be put in an especially pretty envelope or one you decorate or you could do a fun shallow decorative box to enclose your letter or letters.  This could also be a great box to store your special letter(s). You can be as creative as you like and you can also keep in mind the mom you are doing this for and what they would like because that is really what counts the most.

 

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A Few Thoughts If Creating With Young Children

  • Act as a Scribe for Children Who Cannot Write Yet. They can tell you what they want to say and you can write it down for them. They can maybe sign their name.
  • Have Children Do a Drawing.  This can be a picture of them together or just a pic of her or whatever makes sense to them.
  • Give children some guideposts to help them with their letter. You can ask a set of questions that they can answer. 1) What do you like /love about your mom? 2) What is your favorite thing to do with your mom? 3) What does your mom do for you that you are thankful for? What is your favorite memory of your mom?

 

Last but not least, I was given consent to post my friend’s letter her young adult daughter wrote to share with her Facebook community. For privacy I have left names off of this letter.

My mother is my best friend, but was also my mentor!

As a child my parents owned a small kid’s shoe store for 12 years, so I grew up working there. As my mother’s health has declined I am so thankful for all of the time I spent growing up working there with my mother. Many of my best childhood memories are working in the store with her. Looking back now I realize all the things she taught me there about business and life in general. My favorite thing was going to market down in Dallas every year. It was better than any expensive vacation. She allowed me to help run the business doing things like managing inventory , reconciling the money every night, training new employees, arranging and maintaining the front area, helping come up with advertising ideas, and so many other things! She inspired my love for business! She shaped me into the person I am today and I am so thankful for every day I have with her. I love seeing franchisees providing this same amazing opportunity to their children!

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I hope you will choose to write a letter to your mom. Our words are so powerful and stay with us for a very long time, especially in written format. Happy Mother’s Day!

 

 

 

Meals that Nourish and Connect You and Your Family

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Mealtimes can be a powerful ritual  in keeping you emotionally connected to your family. You may be a young couple or a family with small children or maybe a family with teens. Or an empty nest couple. All of these categories apply. When we are all so very busy with our lives having set times that we meet together is important. Mealtimes are a natural time to nourish our bodies physically & emotionally. It is not uncommon for me to hear families talk about all eating at different times or for some taking their food to their own separate space to continue with whatever they were doing – watching tv, playing a computer game, face-booking, continuing a work project, etc. This can be so easy to fall into with our busy lives. Here is some “food for thought” as to how to make mealtimes a powerful  “connect time”.

Consider Your Family and It’s Current Mealtimes.  

  • What do you like about your current mealtimes in your home? What do you want to make sure that you keep in place?
  • What do you NOT like? What do you wish would be happening instead? What would be the first step in doing what you feel is better?
  • Do you have meals together? How often?
  • What is the tone of your mealtimes? Positive? Negative? Lots of sharing or not so much?
  • Are meals viewed as important in your household?
  • Does everyone participate in putting meals together and or cleaning up after?

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Make Your Meals an Awesome Connecting Ritual.

  1. Put Family Meals in Your Schedule. For so many of us, unless we schedule it, it will not happen. It may mean you have to do a healthy snack late afternoon to get everyone through until you can all re-unite.  Or it may mean all eating early to accommodate early evening commitments. The point is to shift  and adapt to make this a priority. There will be times it will not work for all of  you to eat together, but for those that are there, go for this time together. For some very busy families, it may mean having a couple of times a week that are set in place, with an understanding that activities are not to be scheduled in that time frame.  To start with if planning this is very challenging you might do one night a week to begin with.
  2. Let Everyone Have a Part in Meal Preparation and Cleanup . This will be different for different families. You might have one family that rotates children in the kitchen to help the parent who is making the meal or maybe children help clear the table, etc. At our house who ever cooks gets a pass on helping with cleanup.  Do what fits for you and your family.
  3. No texting, No tweeting, No face booking, No phone calls at the dinner table. I am sure I missed a couple here. The point is that this is a special time you have set aside to eat and be together. This includes asking that no screen devices be brought to the table. Just too tempting.  Some families have a basket where all phones are deposited at the beginning of the meal. I would even suggest to keep the environment peaceful that everyone mute their phones. Wouldn’t that be nice. No beeping, buzzing, ringing, etc, etc,   And answering the home phone that is ringing is not ok unless you hear voice mail go through and it is a critical someone is very ill call. I stand a bit firm on this one, I guess because I see a real erosion of family time due to our current management of our very high-tech world we live in. You might consider this training for your children in how to handle screen time when they are with others.
  4. Consider Starting the Meal with a Time of “Gratitude” or “Thankfulness”. This could be in a prayer format if this fits for your family. Or it could be a new ritual you start by each saying something you are grateful for that happened that day. Even in a prayer format you could have each person do their own individual gratitude prayer. If all of this feels uncomfortable, you might just consider talking about these kinds of things during the meal.
  5.  Feeling the “Love” of Family  – Ask that no one disrespect the other or on purpose cause a conflict during mealtimes. Try to frame this as a time for you all to encourage and uplift one another.You can model by asking how each person’s day has been and really listen carefully and give encouragement when needed.
  6. As Parents or as a Couple Choose not to use This as a Time to Talk  About  Problems. Keep your meal times positive. This is not to say you should not address problems. Just at another time.
  7. A Fun Feeling Activity .  One playful way of seeing how things are going for all is to have each person “choose a feeling” and ask each person to tell something that happened to them that day that fits with this feeling. For example: “What is the happiest thing that happened today?” Others might include: saddest, the best thing, the most weird, the most crazy, the funniest thing, the hardest thing, the easiest thing, the most surprising, etc. If a family member draws a blank then the person giving out the feeling state, can throw out another one. Just a fun way of checking out everyone’s day.
  8. Consider Asking All to Stay at the Table until Everyone is Finished Eating.  This is just good manners and showing respect for one another.  And if one does need to leave, maybe encouraging that they excuse themselves with why they need to leave from the table. Just a way to show you care and respect each other. Being respectful is one of the foundations for good relationships.

If you do your own fun mealtime rituals that work well, I would love to hear about them. Here is to lots of meals of connection with your family!

The “Foundation Ingredient” to Finding Answers to Your Problems

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Finding the solution to a problem is not always about just thinking and working harder on it. I had this concept come home to me again recently.  So here is a little story to illustrate this surprising key to finding the answers to problems that you are having trouble finding a solution to.

I was having a tough week, lots to do and not sure how to handle a new challenge that evolved. I had wrestled with it trying to focus and actively find a solution when I was at a point that I felt my brain was fried. I finally decided to go to bed and start anew the next day. Not a bad strategy in itself. I was so wound up I thought maybe a guided sleep meditation might help me go to sleep easier. I had recently reviewed a children’s cd that was devoted to helping children relax and cope with anxiety. I remembered one of the stories being about a harried caterpillar that was all tied up in knots. I thought ok, that’s me!

And I listened . . .  A little girl was in the meadow. She saw a caterpillar who was scurrying around all tied up in knots. She asked him “What is wrong?” The caterpillar answered that he was all tied up in knots that he had to find green leaves to eat and find a place to create a cocoon all before nightfall. The little girl giggled and said first let me help you relax. She asked the caterpillar to lie down and had him relax all of his feet and then his body, etc. until he was all relaxed. The caterpillar was no longer knotted up. He began to feel the warm sunlight and gentle breeze in the meadow.  The little girl asked  him to let all of his thoughts leave his mind and let it relax. His mind was now still and quiet and very clear. As the little caterpillar looked up he saw a beautiful tree full of juicy leaves. And a lovely branch that would be perfect for his cocoon.  So he ate and ate the juicy leaves and began his cocoon in the safe place that he was able to find when his mind was quiet and still. He thanked the little girl for her gift of helping him to relax and find the answers to his problem. All was well.

 

As I finished this story I felt nice and relaxed and begin to drift off to sleep. But before sleep came, I had this lovely solution pop into my head as to what to do with the challenge that had plagued me all day. I was so excited I got up and jotted down this creative and unique idea. Went back to bed and had a great night of sleep.  This was a nice reminder for me about how letting our mind rest and clear can create fertile ground for the sprouting of fresh, new ideas.

The story I have shared is a summary of “The Goodnight Caterpillar” found on Lori Light’s cd, Indigo Dreams, Track #4.  www.stressfreekids.com . This is great cd for children (and adults) for stress reduction.

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This fun story is great for sleep.  But one of its key messages is that when we relax our body and our mind, clearing our thoughts and entering a quiet, still place, we can then really see the solutions for problems or worries. Letting go and unwinding and relaxing fully will bring us great rewards. Think about it. When do you find your best solutions? For me it is normally not when I am at my desk, but when I am out for a walk or taking a break from my work or just after meditating. Other times might be while I am in the shower or drifting off to sleep.

So consider not working so hard and letting the answers come to you while you are in a relaxed state. Doesn’t that sound like so much more fun!

 

 

We are not that far apart . . .

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Sometimes it feels you are so far apart!  You want THIS and your partner wants THAT. You feel you are on opposing teams, going to battle for your needs and desires. In reality many times when we go beneath our surface wants, we really want the same thing.

Look at these examples of surface needs and more core needs underneath, are they not the same?

We are not that far apart . . .

“I want to have more sex more often.”  Core Need: I need to feel close and connected.                                                                                                                  

 “I want you to talk to me more.”   Core Need: I need to feel close and connected.                                                                                                                           

At first look, they may seem like two different desires: more sex and more talk. But underneath both are wanting closeness and connection. 

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“You are always critical of me.”  Core Need: I need to feel safe and protected.

“You never listen to me.”    Core Need: I need to feel safe and protected.  

Again, at first look it appears to be two very different upsets – always critical and never listen. But essentially the core message of need is the same – safety and protection.

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“Of course there are times were the core desire may not be the same. But regardless we can be on the same team, fighting for us, not against each other. We are normally not that far apart. When we are upset and in a negative state of mind, it all becomes heightened and feels so very intense. What can we do to get more on the same page and begin to see that we are on the same team?

Being on the Same Team

  1. Take Some Deep Breaths and Calm Yourself.  To really hear your loved one, you will have to be calm enough to really hear what they have to say.
  2. Beginning with the MINDSET, We Are on the Same Team!
  3. REALLY Listening to Each Other. This is not always easy. Because we are many times thinking of what we want to say. Just stopping and really hearing can so help to fully understand what is going on with your loved one.
  4. Reflecting or Acknowledging What You Think You Are Hearing. This simple act goes a long ways to resolving and coming together on the issue that is upsetting you both. We all want to feel heard. It calms our anxious brain to know that we are truly being heard and acknowledged. We can think more rationally when we are not on high alert. 
  5. Framing the Issue in Terms of, “What can WE do to make this better?” This is not about who is right or wrong. But about, “How can we make this better?”
  6. Recognizing that Solution Building May Mean Shifting and Adjusting. Basically, this means after we really hear our loved one and express our own feelings that we may need to shift to a place that works for both of us. This is about what is best for you as a couple, not just you as an individual.  Of course, you will have to truly feel good about what you choose to do. This can be the challenging part. But with love and respect for your partner this can happen and make you stronger as a couple and still incorporate your own needs.
  7. Using Dr. Sue Johnson’s 3 Key’s to Emotional Connection: A.R.E.  “Are you there, are you with me?”  A = Accessibility  R=Responsiveness  E=Engagement

           

Core Needs for All of Us to Have a Secure Bond

Secure, healthy relationships will have these components:

  • Feeling Safe and Protected
  • Feeling Loved and Nurtured
  • Feeling Connected 

So consider these core needs. Many times what we say we need or want are really at the core one of these components.

So remember, YOU ARE NOT THAT FAR APART.  You are on the same team!!!

Do I need to be playful and light-hearted to be happy and connected? It depends!

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tennis shoes black and white with heart in between

Is it necessary to be playful and show your “fun” side to be happy and connected? I think this depends on what you want from your life. If you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed, you might consider the many benefits of having some “play time”. What this means will be different for different folks. There is planned play and then there is random acts of playfulness. Sometimes a mix of both. All are good for you. Play is not just for children. Let’s look at some ways that play is beneficial, some of the components of healthy, restorative play and some thoughts on both planned play and random acts of playfulness.

Benefits of Tapping Into Your Playful Self

  • It gives your overworked brain a break. In particular your amygdala, the center that alerts you if there is potential danger or harm coming your way. When your amygdala is calm, so are you. The relaxed state of play can give your brain a needed break.
  • Play gives you respite from worry and upset. When you are in a playful state, your focus has shifted away from the worries and stresses of your life.
  • Play is a wonderful medium to help you connect with your loved ones. ♥♥  Play can create a space for loving / nurturing interactions . Actually for all relationships: couples, parents and children, siblings, families.
  • A relaxed play state can help you recharge and think more clearly, allowing for more creativity and effective problem solving.  I know many of my best ideas come when I am in a relaxed state.
  • Play can aid in healing mentally or physically. Being in a relaxed, non stressed state gives our body the rest it needs to heal.
  • It can bring you joy and happiness. And isn’t that something we all want and desire!

 Components of Healthy, Restorative Play

  • Competition is not emphasized. In its purest form it would be cooperative and mutually satisfying. There can be healthy competitive play. Considering your goal would be good here. In general for all those involved, cooperative play is going to feel the best for all concerned and do more for relationship building. Competitive play can help one prepare for the competitive world we live in and develop a healthy outlook on competition, especially if developmental age and talents are considered. But for the goal of lowering stress and relationship building, cooperative play is best. If you do something with a winner / loser, keep it light. If you are doing this as a family, model a light-hearted approach to your game.
  • It is fun and all those involved are enjoying it. Basically it should be mutually satisfying for all.
  • It is inclusive. No one is left out or made to feel as it they are not a real part of the play.
  • If it is parent child or family play, it is at the children’s developmental level. If something is too far above our level of understanding or capabilities , it is stressful. This goes for children and adults.
  • It feels uplifting and positive. There is focus on fun and enjoyment. We would of course avoid criticizing or telling another what to do. This is not to say that redirecting and establishing appropriate boundaries and limits for children are not a needed component.
  • There is a healthy flow of taking turns in leading the play. It has a cooperative, shared kind of feel to it. No one person dominating.
  • It does not involve electronic devices and these are not used during your play. This would be in the purest state the most conducive for interaction. There may be some times that watching a funny movie or doing an electronic game together may be what you want. But other forms of play will bring lots of other additional benefits. Or at least keeping it balanced can be helpful between the two avenues. If you are using electronic devices you can try to remember to add in playful touches and conversation. Plus more one on one non screen interaction afterwards.
  • Healthy, fun bantering and light-hearted teasing as a couple. With children (and with some adults) it is best to gauge for sensitivity and upset with your light-hearted teasing. This is meant to be fun, not hurtful at any level.
  • Open affection and laughter is a good hallmark of healthy play.  Holding hands, hugs, kisses, friendly and open interest.
  • You feel expansive and good during and afterwards. There is a light feeling that is a part of this kind of play.

play don't forget to play pic of swing set

 

Planned Play

Due to the very busy lives we all lead, it is necessary to plan for times of play or opportunities for play. For some it may not happen unless it is planned. This is not a bad thing, just a necessary thing. Even within the planned times, you will find opportunities for more spontaneous, out of the box playfulness. Having set play times can be very helpful for busy couples or families. It may be a planned family activity once a week. Or a date night in which playful things are included. Or a quarterly get away for a couple to relax and play. This does not have to be far away, just a scheduled time to “be together” in a playful fun state. But most of all it is is important to remember that play is not so much about a specific get away or activity (even thought that can be fun), but more about a state of mind and attitude and blocking of time to create an atmosphere or space where it is more likely to happen. 

Some other examples:

  • Doing versions of child activities as adults or with adolescents. And of course, doing child activities with your children. This creates a fun base that encourages playfulness. Some examples: Silly String Fight. Blowing Bubbles. Slap Jack.
  • Creative activities lead to allowing for playfulness. Things such as: Arts and Crafts. Cooking. Decorating. Lego Building. Telling Stories.
  • Encouraging humor. Telling jokes. Watching funny movies together. Parents and children reading funny books together.
  • Being in nature together. Spending time outdoors creates a sense of well-being that can allow for more playful feelings.

Random Acts of Playfulness

Is there anything better than having some random acts of playfulness happening? I think not. I love this the very best myself. For example: I was at a muddy outdoor event and my husband decided to give me a piggy back ride across an especially muddy area. It was so light-hearted and fun. That was actually the high light of that fun event we attended. It just felt so playful and fun.

Random acts of playfulness are really more about acting from our playful side of our self. It is about being open to this playfulness by both people. Letting our self have this light, freeing interaction even at times that are not ideal can help relieve stress. Maybe you have a hard day, but you come home and decide to let that slide away and be with your loved one in a way that promotes a feeling of connection and playfulness. It is a lovely choice we can choose to make.

  Ending Notes 

There are times when we do need to be serious and have extreme focus.  As with so many things in life BALANCE is a real key. Your playful self is wonderfully complementary. Here is to lots of playful, connecting times ahead!

Please let me know of Random Acts of Playfulness that have occurred for you. This may give other ideas as to how to express this fun, more spontaneous side of themselves. Maybe we should all take a pledge of seeing how many Random Acts of Playfulness we can spread around this next week. What a win – win situation, for us and our loved ones!

 

Natural Dyeing of Easter Eggs – A Family Affair

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Easter eggs dyed on a cup cake stand

Children love to color their own Easter eggs. So do adults! If you are looking for an inter-generational activity that is fun and connecting, this is it. I tested this out last year by having this as an activity for my Easter guests who were all of all ages. It was a hit. With all ages “getting into it”, including the males in the family, even Grandpa seemed to enjoy the coloring of eggs and intricate design work. See the picture above of our finished eggs. Our eggs were placed on a 3 tier wire cupcake holder lined with lettuce and a few sprinkles of grated carrots for an Easter look and a way to keep the eggs from rolling around too much.

What is even more fun is to use natural plant-based dyes made from food you have in your kitchen. We are talking red cabbage, beets, onions, coffee, frozen blueberries, etc.  This is a bit of an art / science experiment that everyone can get into.  This is sort of old, old school. Not only no plastic eggs, but dyes that are good for you and the environment that were used before artificial dyes were on the market. I am listing some of the foods that can create dyes for your Easter eggs.  For natural egg dye recipes and instructions for your Easter eggs go to: http://www.marthastewart.com/267850/dyeing-eggs-naturally . You may also consider checking out the following blog piece: www.yourhomebasedmom.com/naturally-dyed-easter-eggs/   She has a smaller recipe with a bit less time involvement with examples of using these dyes with children.

 

Red cabbage creates blue.

Brewed coffee or tea creates brown.

Blueberries will create a blue-gray.

Beets will create a pink.

Onions with yellow skins will create a yellow. And purple onion skins will give you purple.

Tumeric can also create a yellow. (Tumeric is a spice.)

Paprika will create a muted red / orange.

 

naturally-dyed-easter-egg-collage

 

Making the Dye as Part of Your Easter Event.

If you have the space or a smaller group, you can let folks help make the plant-based dyes. This will involve some time, so this would be something to consider as to including this piece in your Easter event. The younger your children, the more challenging it will be, due to that most of the dyes need to be cooked on the stove. Some dyes are more simple to prepare than others. So finding ones that are easy and not a long process may work best. Each person can be in charge of a certain color or colors. Your children will think this is so cool and it is! What fun to see the dyes you can create and then how your eggs will absorb and create color on the eggs.

A few General Tips:

  1. The longer an egg sets in a natural dye the more intense the color. For a super intense look you can even do a soak overnight in the refrigerator.
  2. The white egg will give you a more clear color. Brown eggs will give you a more muted, antique soft look.
  3. With natural dyes you will want to keep stirring the egg to keep the dye even on the egg.
  4. There are cold water dyes that can be created. These will be bit more muted unless you soak for a longer period of time. And then for more intense colors boiling the plant-based item with or without the eggs is suggested by some.
  5. It appears that vinegar is a setting agent for many recipes. And some suggest salt as helpful.
  6. Be prepared for a bit of a mess. No biggie,  For little ones (or for big ones who are concerned) you can cover up with aprons or old shirts. Having a base to work from on the table can help. A plate with a paper towel placed on top to set your egg on is helpful. And yes your hands may get a bit of dye on them. But most will wash off with soap and water and the rest wears off pretty quickly.  One idea would be to buy some disposable rubber gloves to keep hands clean if this is a real concern.  Spoons to stir your eggs help. A pretty plastic table-cloth is good for clean up. Tongs might be helpful too for removing eggs from the dye pots. But spoons will work.
  7. The egg carton can be place to let eggs dry out, the cardboard ones are most useful. Some folks use a wire rack to let eggs dry out.
  8. If your group is particularly adventuresome, you can have some empty cups or small bowls for folks to mix colors for their own unique blend.

easter eggs undyed on a cupcake stand with materiels to dye decorate

Very Simple Ways to Create or Decorate Your Eggs:

  • Two toned eggs can be created by dipping only one portion on one end and then switching to the other side of the egg.
  • Using crayons to draw something on the egg and then dipping the egg in the dye. This is a crayon resist technique.
  • A sponge can be used to create a certain look.
  • Thin lined permanent markers work nicely after the egg has been dyed and dried. Or they can be used on a white or brown un-dyed egg.
  • Rubber bands are fun to use as a way to keep a certain parts of the egg covered and un-dyed. For a striped look possibly.
  • Using very small soft leafs can work well to make a leaf print. I have used cilantro and parsley. A piece of panty hose can be tied around the egg and plant to keep it in place during the dyeing process.
  • Glitter pens can be used after you egg is dyed or for that matter on an un-dyed egg.
  • For a shiny look after your egg is dyed and dry, you can rub it down with a bit of vegetable oil.

Best wishes in creating YOUR own, unique egg dyeing activity for your family!

 

“Egg”cellent Eggs – Exchanging Love and Appreciation at Easter Time

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eggcellent the very last with egg in correct poistion green basket bunney last entry

Eggs have always had a special meaning during Easter celebrations. A symbol of new life, new beginnings and renewal. Plus, of course egg hunts galore. I am adding a potential activity for your consideration –  “Egg”cellent Eggs – Exchanging Your Love & Appreciation at Easter Time. What a wonderful way to be refreshed and renewed by having your family members express how they feel you are a person of “excellence”. I am always searching for unique and fun ways to show love and appreciation. I find celebrations are a perfect time to do so.

“Egg”cellent Eggs – Exchanging Love & Appreciation

The purpose of this Easter activity is to provide an avenue for family members and friends to show their love and appreciation for each other through a fun Easter activity. The activity will center around how we view each family member or friend in the area of how they show their excellence (basically what we feel they are good at).

eggcellent basket and messages material

  1. GATHER MATERIALS.
  • Plastic Eggs – Use paper strips to enclose inside of plastic eggs special notes of how you feel each family member or friend is a person of “excellence”, what you feel they are good at. You will need enough eggs for each person to do a special egg for each person at the event. Colored markers and paper will be needed as well.  Note: In some ways using plastic eggs is the easiest way to do this activity, but “real” deal eggs can work as well

OR

  • “Real” Deal Eggs –  Using permanent markers will work to write your special word or words of how you feel this person excels. Eggs will need to be dyed before hand. Or one could use un-dyed eggs as well and just use markers to decorate and add words that you wish to attribute their positive attributes. You would want to have folks put who the special word or words are from.
  • Dollar store baskets can be purchased and placed at the dinner table for each person as name tags and an indicator of where to put the eggs that are created for each guest.  The reading of the eggs may be a fun activity to do when dishes are cleared and dessert is brought out or picked up from a buffet table. A sweet ending of a meal, opening up your eggs (or looking at the outside of your eggs) and finding out what excellent attributes your family or friends attribute to you.
  • Another option is to have a very large basket for all of the marked eggs in the center of the dining room table, a fun center piece that will double as an activity.

OR

  • The “EGG”cellent Eggs can be used as part of an EASTER EGG HUNT. This is another way to use these fun eggs. In this case the egg would need to marked on the outside with the person’s name so when they hunt they will be hunting specifically for their own specially made eggs.
  • A name tag attached to each basket if you are doing this as a dinner table activity. This can potentially also serve as place tags for who is to sit where if one wishes to do so.
  • Templates can be obtained on line. The sources used for my name tags are: bunny rabbit template at activityvillage.co.uk; chick template at bigliettidastampare.it   Both found on Pinterest. Having children create the name tags is fun way to involve children. Their own unique creations would be a wonderful contribution.

Note: This can be a relatively inexpensive project. I found baskets and eggs at the dollar store and then used left over ribbons, etc.    

eggcellent chick basket with message

 2. ACTIVITY DIRECTIONS 

  • Everyone pre-make their eggs at home before the Easter Meal or Event. And then put the eggs in the appropriate baskets set out when they arrive. And then at the designated time you have folks look at their special notes of appreciation and love from their families, finding out how they stand out as an excellent person in the eyes of their family and friends.

OR

  • The creating of the eggs and their messages can be done at the Easter Event and then eggs put in the Easter Baskets provided by the host. Another alternative is for each person to bring their own basket for their eggs.

eggcellent basket, small one with flower shape at top, close up of message

 

     3. INSTRUCTIONS FOR PARTICIPANTS

  • Advice those participating if they are to prepare eggs before they come to your Easter event or if it will be done at the time of the event.
  • Email or send a note to them as to what you want on or in their eggs. You might create a form that you send to them with the needed template to gather the information for their eggs. I find communication is critical for these special kinds of activities to go smoothly. It might go as follows:

____________, YOU are a person of “EGG”cellence!

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

From                                             Date

 

This note is to be filled in with the person’s name at the very top and then a note indicating what you feel they excel at or are good at. Some examples might be:  Adam, YOU are a person of “EGG”cellence! You are so very thoughtful and kind. From  Tanna   Date   April, 2015  OR  Jane, YOU are a person of “EGG”cellence! You really know how to make an awesome cherry pie!  From  Tanna   Date   April, 2015  OR   Aiden, You are a person of “EGG”cellence! You are so friendly to everyone.  From  Tanna   Date   April, 2015

  • Consider how young children can be involved. I might note that even young children who are not writing yet can dictate what they like about another family member. This is a wonderful activity to create positive, warm feelings all way around. If you have a baby or toddler you might image what they may say to another member and write it for them. For example: Daddy, You are a person of “EGG”cellence.  I love how you give me hugs and kisses. From  Amelia   Date   April, 2015 Or a preschooler could draw a picture to be included.

 

This above note format is intended for if you use plastic eggs. If you do dyed eggs you will want to have folks only do a word or phrase on the egg and if possible who it is from on the egg. For example:  Very Friendly. From Tanna   OR   Thoughtful. From Tanna  OR   Great Cook. From Tanna.

  • Let them know if you will provide a basket or egg holder or if they need to bring this.
  • If you have them bring their own basket, advise if they need to put their name on it or if you will be doing this as the host.

eggcellent basket message instructions

4. CONSIDERATIONS FOR RELUCTANT PARTICIPANTS

  •  If you feel you will have some folks who will be uncomfortable doing this activity, you could provide a choice of something they might feel more comfortable doing. For example: You could give the choice of doing the “EGG”cellent Egg for each of their family members or friends OR they can bring a small edible or non edible treat to put in their family member or friend’s basket. If this is done as an egg hunt, they will need to put their treats in plastic eggs.

 

Notes:

1) You might check out my post on Cooperative Egg Hunts that I did last year for this blog. It is a yearly ritual that I personally am involved with

2) In addition you might check out next week’s post in which I will talk about a natural egg dying activity. This is an old traditional activity that many no longer do because of plastic Easter eggs. This post will go back to the very old school way of dying your eggs with natural plant-based dye. So stay tuned for next week’s post.

Best wishes for a lovely Easter, filled with love and appreciation for one another!

Creating OFF Mode for Self Renewal and Better Relationships

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snoopy on top his house, laying flat depressed look

When we are ON all the time we begin to feel burned out and drained and find not much left for care of ourselves or of our relationships. It actually can begin to feel addictive, this need to be ON and “plugged in”. I can attest for my own self that I  have to constantly be on guard as to how much I let things control my time. We have more power than we think we do.  There is a practical, realistic piece as to work and personal commitments.  What I  do find interesting is that so many times the more balanced we become, the more focused and purpose driven we become.  We can even accomplish more when we are in our ON work mode  all of the time. And it can feel every so good when we are ON and all of our creative juices are flowing. This is most true of course when we love our work.  It is finding that lovely balance that we all so crave. And that may be a bit different for each one of us.

But for so many it feels like we live in a crazy, busy world. So how can we switch to our OFF mode more often? Doing a bit of reflection can help to access your balance. This is a place to start.

snoop and bird on top of house looking disconnected

Are you in OFF mode enough for Self and Relationship Health?

  • What does your body tell you? You might consider how you feel physically.
  • What does your internal “gut” tell you? So many times we know when we get quiet and still for a bit to consider this.
  • Are you happy? Do you like how you are spending your time? Does it match up with your goals and desires for yourself and your relationship?
  • Do your loved ones complain that they never see you or that you don’t spend enough time with them?
  • Do you have enough contact with your family and friends that you really know what is going on in their lives?
  • Do you feel close and connected with loved ones?
  • Do you spend more time on Facebook, texting, on the internet than you do with your family? Does your “electronic world” take away from having OFF time that you need for your self renewal and your relationships?

None of us will be perfectly synced and balanced all the time with the perfect OFF / ON balance. But what we can consider is what this looks like most of the time. Plus, what is one man or women’s perfect fit is not so much for another person.

snoopy and bird playing on skateboard happy

 

What are Some Practical Strategies to Put More OFF Time in Your LIfe?

  1. Get very clear as to what you want for your life. How much time do you want to be in work and volunteer commitment mode? In personal self-care mode? And in nourishing your relationships? Visualizing what you want can help you get there. It will lead you to make decisions that really fit for what you want in your life.
  2. Choose carefully what you do with your time. Make it match up with what you want. This feels the most rewarding and is the least draining of our energy. 
  3. Strongly consider your personal relationship with your “electronic world”.  Decide on purpose how much time you spend with the varying media that draws us in. Facebook, texting, Pinterest, Instagram, etc, etc,
  4. Listen to your “inner voice” to keep you on track.  Setting aside a bit of quiet time each day for yourself can help you to stay in tune with what you really need.
  5. Listen to your loved ones. Really hear what they are saying. Make sense of it and take action to keep  close connections.

snoopy holding heart

Note: As I try to always “walk the talk” I will be taking a break from posting on my blog this next week to spend personal time with my family. I wish you well in your own personal journey in finding the right ON / OFF balance in your life.