“Self Talk” That Gets You Where You Want to Go

happy girl in black and white

How powerful is your “self talk”? I would say powerful enough to change your life. That is pretty powerful. It really takes you where you want to go or not go for that matter. This is why it is so very important to take notice of what you are saying to yourself. Of course the golden rule is “What you think is what you get.” When I encourage clients to use more positive self talk, I sometimes hear “But it’s not true.” This may be the case, but if your talk is negative then what follows will tend to be negative. And vice versa.

One way to move toward more positive self talk is to transition into it. I was listening to a stress reduction audio recently and was struck by the language that was being used. They were using what I am going to call  – Progressive Positive Self Talk. This is what it would sound like with some common feeling states we may want to change.

Progressive Positive Self Talk

  1. Say what YOU WANT by expressing what WILL BE HAPPENING in the near future.
  2. Talk about BEING IN PROCESS of what you want.
  3. Declare that it HAS HAPPENED!

Here are some examples:

  1. “I am going to relax.”
  2. “My body is relaxing.”
  3. “I am relaxed”


  1. “I am going to calm down.”
  2. “I am feeling more calm.”
  3. “I am calm.”


  1. “I am going to choose to be happy.”
  2. “I am feeling happier.”
  3. “I am happy.”

This may be helpful in getting your self to believe and buy into positive self talk. For some it may make it all a bit more believable. And this is so very important. You have to believe for positive self talk to work. 

In addition, positive self talk can help with self control or self regulation. Knowing how to regulate and shift to a feeling state that you want to have is a valuable skill.

So what do you want? Play with the wording in which you state what you want, describe it beginning to happen and say with confidence that it is happening! You will be amazed to find you can set your intent and easily make it happen. You have the power to create what you want. 

Best wishes in using this Progressive Positive Self Talk strategy!