How to Make a Bully from Scratch


How does a bully develop? And can we predict what kinds of things will lead to the making of a bully? From my perspective as a therapist, this begins early on and is all about basic emotional needs not being met and is a relationship based issue. It is all about LOVE and CONNECTION.  I do think we can prevent and work with children and adolescents on these issues. It takes all of us to help with this growing problem.

In preparing for a training of some therapist recently, I ran across a video put out by Conscious Discipline that is titled: How to Make a Bully from Scratch. I am sharing that video here in my blog because I think it is excellent and shows the progression from very early on as to how a bully can develop. It not only shows how a bully develops, but also how a victim develops. It is about 10 minutes in length. And it well worth a 10 minute break to watch it.

Dr. Becky Bailey’s video HOW to Make A BULLY FROM SCRATCH shares 5 signs that show the bully and victim’s progression.

  1. 0-3 Years Old     Difficult Temperament 
  2. 3-5 Years Old   Difficulty Playing With Others
  3. 5-8 Years Old     Difficulty with Relationships
  4. 8-12 Years  Old   Exclusion and “I Don’t Care” Language
  5. Teenage Years    Brain Empathy System is Offline

You may want to check out Conscious Discipline’s  website as they have great resources on helping children develop self-regulation and social skills. It has resources for parents, teachers and mental health specialists.

So let’s all remember every time we make a child feel loved and connected we are actively preventing the making of a bully or a victim. Let me know what you think about this video.