How does a bully develop? And can we predict what kinds of things will lead to the making of a bully? From my perspective as a therapist, this begins early on and is all about basic emotional needs not being met and is a relationship based issue. It is all about LOVE and CONNECTION. I do think we can prevent and work with children and adolescents on these issues. It takes all of us to help with this growing problem.
In preparing for a training of some therapist recently, I ran across a video put out by Conscious Discipline that is titled: How to Make a Bully from Scratch. I am sharing that video here in my blog because I think it is excellent and shows the progression from very early on as to how a bully can develop. It not only shows how a bully develops, but also how a victim develops. It is about 10 minutes in length. And it well worth a 10 minute break to watch it.
Dr. Becky Bailey’s video HOW to Make A BULLY FROM SCRATCH shares 5 signs that show the bully and victim’s progression.
- 0-3 Years Old Difficult Temperament
- 3-5 Years Old Difficulty Playing With Others
- 5-8 Years Old Difficulty with Relationships
- 8-12 Years Old Exclusion and “I Don’t Care” Language
- Teenage Years Brain Empathy System is Offline
You may want to check out Conscious Discipline’s website www.consciousdiscipline.com as they have great resources on helping children develop self-regulation and social skills. It has resources for parents, teachers and mental health specialists.
So let’s all remember every time we make a child feel loved and connected we are actively preventing the making of a bully or a victim. Let me know what you think about this video.