THANKS”GIVING” – Expressing Thankfulness and Kindness as a Family Holiday Activity

THANKS”GIVING” is a time to be thankful for all we have. It is a wonderful time for all of us to reflect on all we have to be thankful for and to share that with one another. It is the beginning of the holiday season and a time to decide what we will do with the holidays ahead.

 

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I was listening to a broadcast on Hayhouse Radio today in which the speaker was talking about the concept of THANKS”GIVING” being an opportunity to not only be thankful for the good in our life, but a time to give back to others sharing something they can be thankful for. I like this idea! This incorporates two powerful ideas that can make us truly happy – being thankful and giving / acts of kindness to others.

So I hope you will consider using this idea as a springboard for letting your family members know why you are thankful for them and then consciously give back to your loved ones – passing on an act of kindness to them.  I am including two potential concrete activities to consider in connection with this general concept.

  1. I challenge you to choose to do this each day during the upcoming holidays. Think of something you are thankful for each day with one of your family members or loved ones and tell them what it is. And follow-up the same day with forwarding on an act of kindness to them.
  2. Of course this can be done outside of your family too. You could on purpose do this as a family project in which each of your reports at the evening meal or whenever you see each other all together who you thanked or gave some appreciation to AND then what act of kindness you did for someone that day. This could be a weekly check-in if daily is too much or not possible. This would be a time to reflect on what each of you have been thankful for and also what acts of kindness each of you have consciously chosen to do.

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Here is to the wonderful holidays ahead and the many opportunities they give us to contemplate our blessings and give back to others!

“What We Are Thankful For . . . ” Activities for Families and Couples

Focusing on what we are thankful for is always uplifting and helpful on keeping us on the right track. When our lives are filled with appreciation and thankfulness we feel joyful and happy. So . . . what better time to begin this kind of daily practice but at Thanksgiving time!

Family at the dinner table at the Thanksgiving day.

One activity that I feel is a great Thanksgiving meal activity is when the family or participants each tells something that they are feeling thankful for.  This can be done with a variety of “starter statements”. Pick what you feel best fits your family or gathering of people.

“Let’s each go around the table and tell what we are most thankful for that has taken place this last year.”

“Let’s each go around the table and tell of something we are feeling thankful for.”

“Let’s each go around the table and tell of some things that have happened recently that we are feeling thankful for.”

“Let’s go around the table and each tell of something that we feel thankful for in regard to our family. ”

  • You can combine some of these above statements or make up your own ‘starter statement’. You will probably know what might work best  for your family or gathering.
  • I would also suggest that you be the one to start the process to get it going. You can even set up another member of two ahead of time who would be willing to share to get things going.
  • You can also set it up with your starter statement suggesting that those who would like to share something they are thankful for can do so. Basically giving an “out” for those who are not comfortable doing this activity. If nothing else it gets those folks thinking about being thankful and models for them an attitude of ‘thankfulness’. I have done some activities in the past that are similar in nature as to taking turns sharing, going around a room or table and have found some folks are just not very comfortable doing this kind of sharing. Forcing sharing is probably not the most helpful. This kind of statement might look like the following:

“As it is Thanksgiving, I thought it might be fitting to let anyone who wants to share about what they are feeling most thankful about to share with the group as we are eating our Thanksgiving meal.”

You can alter this statement to focus on whatever you feel is most fitting for your family or gathering.

Here are three more concrete, fun ways to express feelings of thankfulness during Thanksgiving.

  • Create a paper turkey and cut out some paper feathers for folks to share their feelings of thanks by putting them on the feathers and then attaching them to the turkey. Folks can write what they are thankful for and then sign at the bottom of the statement written. OR create a turkey with a base in which everyone can stick feathers that are attached to toothpicks into it. Folks can use the feathers to fill in things they are thankful for. Another possibility would be each person creating their own turkey and placing their own collection of feathers in it. The base for these kinds of projects can be an apple or pear or pinecone or anything that makes you think of a base for a turkey.  Or you could have a turkey making table with a variety of food pieces or craft materials to create a turkey, along with feathers to create the thankful thoughts.  I can see a fun creative activity for kids and adults alike.

thankgiving turkey with feathers

  • Use butcher paper or some kind of roll paper to cover your Thanksgiving tables and have crayons available for children and adults to draw pictures or write on your paper cloth what they are feeling thankful for. Another option might be each person making a Thanksgiving placemat with their thankful thoughts or pictures on it. 
  • Have a tent name tag at each place setting at your Thanksgiving table and have each person write their name on one side and what they are thankful for on the other side. They can add their own decorative work to their name tag. This could be done before the meal or during.

NOTES:

1.These activities can be done as a couple too. Sometimes we feel these kinds of activities have to be done in a larger group. They actually can be done very well in a small group or couple format just as well. In fact, you may find more personal feelings of thankfulness coming out of these smaller groups.

2. The verbal sharing of what we are thankful for can be done as an ongoing activity at your mealtimes or other group activities, such as weekly family meetings, etc. You could choose one night a week, for example each Wednesday night or every Sunday night or whatever meal you all share together on a regular basis will work. This can be so much more than just a Thanksgiving activity, but a ritual of being thankful for what we are blessed with. Hope you have an opportunity to verbalize your feelings of appreciation and gratitude on a regular basis with your family. It has a way of creating more good things in our lives. So here is to remembering our blessings!

Connecting Through Co-Creating Your Family Picnic

Picnics are not just for summer! The fall leaves and weather is so mild here still in OK. Consider a picnic in which you co-create it with your family. Instead of Mom (or in some cases Dad) making up and preparing the picnic basket or back packs, consider the family doing this together. I had a recent experience in which I was preparing everything and one of my family members said, why don’t you let everybody just make their own picnic lunch. I was thinking, “I like that idea!” I could have just put everything out on the table and said have at it. Instead, I decided to make some food stations to make it a bit more fun and make it easier to find everything. I created the following stations:

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Sandwich Making Station

Fruit Station

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Cut Up Your Own Veggie Station

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Trail Mix Station

Drink Station

I had a variety of things to choose from at each station. I think this is the part that makes it fun, having some choices.  Everyone in the kitchen together, cutting and chopping veggies and folks making their own brand of trail mix, etc. has a very connecting feeling to it. Of course you can adapt this food making adventure to the age of your children. It is a great opportunity to be together and interact, while creating your own unique and personalized picnic lunch.  So much better than one person doing it. And a nice message to all the family members that everyone can contribute and have fun!

I would suggest you have a sack for each member to put their “creations” in. This can prevent confusion over whose food is whose.

The cool thing about picnics is they can be a part of many different settings: on nature trail walks, at the park, at the zoo, in your back yard OR even in the middle of your living room floor on a blanket!

Remember you can do a picnic any time of the year. Of course, I suppose fall, spring and summer have the most appeal. Even a mild winter’s day might be fun. So enjoy your co-created picnic lunch wherever you live and no matter what season it is!

Enjoy Oxley Nature Center with Your Family or Your Honey

oxley nature center fall treesOxley Nature Center’s 9 miles of trails would be so very fun with all the fall color right now. But it has it’s beauty with all of the different seasons. The trials are available 7 days a week. Please check their website for specific information about hours. www.oxleynaturecenter.org  You will also find the maps on their website. Oxley Nature Center is part of Mohawk Park near the Tulsa zoo. The website has directions. You might also check out their Facebook page.

This could be a great activity for you as a family or you as a couple. You can do the trails on your own or you can take advantage of the Saturday programs that are offered. When you go into the website, click the program tab for information on the variety of programs offered by Oxley Nature Center. Some of the Programs offered are:

Saturday Morning Bird Walks

Family Adventures

Butterfly Walks

Earth Science Walks

Botany Walks

Full Moon Walk Programs

Night Walks

Weekend Tours (for groups of 6 or more)

There is a Nature Store that is part of the Oxley-Yetter Interpretive Building. Check it out.

oxley nature center dad with child on shoulders

A nature walk is a perfect opportunity for a couple or a family to connect with each other. Choosing to have everyone not use their phones during the walk, will even enhance the opportunity to connect and interact with each other. We have found these trails to be easy to walk, but very interesting with lots to see. This includes abundant birds and wildlife. Best wishes for a beautiful day out in nature with your family.

Renewal of Wedding Vows – An Ongoing Re-Commitment

wedding-ring-vows-2How important are marriage vows?   I went to a wedding this last weekend and couldn’t help but to begin to think about them. Wouldn’t it be great if we did a yearly redo of our vows.  There are many folks who at some point do a renewal of wedding vows. I know my husband and I did. But really don’t we all have to make continuing re-commitments to each other. Going through the thick and thin can be tough at times. And making our wishes and intent for our ongoing relationship expressed verbally can be very powerful. It not only shows commitment, but it creates a vision that we will consciously and unconsciously worked on. 

When I heard this young couple expressing their love and vows to one another it brought back my own vows and feelings of commitment to my own relationship. I think this happens for many folks. And I think every time we attend a wedding it is a gentle reminder of our own vows to our spouse. So by all means accept those wedding invites and recall your own vows and what they mean for you as a couple.

So if it has been a while since you took your vows, you might even consider doing a renewal of your vows. It does not have to be exact vows you did initially. In fact, we grow and change and your vows may look very different the second time around. I actually think that second set of vows may be more powerful as you know what it means to be in a marital relationship.

You might even consider a yearly redo.  Doing them on your anniversary would add an extra punch to them. A wonderful reminder of what you want and hope for in your relationship. I always tell my clients “What you think, is what you get!” Basically, meaning if you share with your spouse  your specific intentions and wishes for your relationship you are more likely to get it.

Renewing of vows can be done with just the two of you or can be done with the witnessing of your friends and family. Both ways will work. The witnessing adds a special covenant that makes it public how strongly you feel.  Regardless your words (and of course the followup action) is what counts. Remember you are the creator of your relationship and what you want it to look like! Best wishes on your vows of love and commitment!