Monthly Archives: May 2014

Using Summer Time Fun to Enhance Your Relationship with Your Child

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 Want to have fun this summer with your child or children and build a stronger relationship? Summer offers so many opportunities for relationship building. Children typically do not have as many commitments. The hard part is that parents sometimes have the same work schedules and commitments. But do not despair. The longer sunlit days help us with less after school practices and homework, etc.

Here are some things to consider when finding ways to really “be with” your child and strengthen your relationship during these delightful summer time months.

  •  Use this wonderful time to expand your activities to include things that are considered summer activities. Make a commitment to do this. You will find that enjoying the extra sunlight and time outside is good for you to on a personal level too. Out there collecting all that Vitamin D (the happy vitamin) and enjoying the wonderful outdoors is a nice backdrop.
  • Create a structured time when you plan to take advantage of this beautiful gift of summer. This may mean you do a daily game of catch in the backyard or a every Tuesday night we go to the park night, etc. If it is scheduled or a regular commitment you have made it is so much more likely to happen.
  • Really talk with your child or children about what they enjoy doing in the summer time and incorporate as much of that as possible. Sometimes we think we know what our children want to do, but sometimes this changes and shifts as they age or grow new interests, etc. So ask. They will be so happy that you did. It also shows a deep respect for them as young people with their own unique preferences. And it shows you care and that you value their desires. This is not to say that if what they want to do does not fit with your value system that you need to do it. But it may be that you can find some similar things that would work for the both of you.
  • Really “BE THERE” during these special times together. It means putting all our electronic devices in the OFF position and really focusing on this special time you have been given to spend with your child. It also means that you ask your children if they are older and have electronic devices that they put their’s in the OFF position also. There may be a bit of grumbling. But when you tell them this is a special time and you really want to spend it with them they can get that and if not they will at some point.
  • Enjoy, listen, interact. Have fun! It is not so much what you have chosen to do, but more about your attentive interaction.

So have a great summer with lots of time to play and be with each other. You will be glad you did!

 

Free Summer 2014 Movies for Tulsa Families and Couples

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Want to take in some fun free movies for your family or for you and your honey. Then check out what Tulsa has in store for this summer. Sometimes a movie fits the bill for a fun outing. These can be used as conversations starters to talk about deeper issues or values with your partner or children, etc. So there is a way to make them a bit more substantial as to meaning if you wish. And then there are times for just a fun evening out and not really thinking about any thing but a good laugh and spending time together. So here goes as to what I found for this summer.

 

riverwalk movies free summer kids film festival 2014

Riverwalk Movies is located at 600 RiverWalk, Terrace, Jenks, OK . And of course in the summer this a nice place to take your children for a walk before or after on the riverbank.  www.selectcinemas.com

Dickinson Theatres – Starworld 20 – Tulsa OK has a Free Summer Vacation Movie Series. You can go to www.dtmovies.com for more information. The following is what they currently have listed for this summer’s free movies . These movies play Tuesday – Thursday from 10:00 am & 12:30 pm.

June 10-12     The Nut Job

June 17 – 19     Despicable Me 2

June 24-26     How to Tame Your Dragon

July 1-3     The Smurfs 2

July 8-10     Escape From Planet Earth

July 15- 17     The Lego Movie

July 22- 24     The Second Jungle Book

July 29-31     Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2

If you are interested in some free outdoor movies you may want to consider Guthrie Green in down town Tulsa. The park is located at 111 East MB Brady Street.  Go to www.guthriegreen.com for more information.

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The movies include a spectrum of movie ratings, from child friendly to adult movies. All movies begin at 8:30 pm.  The movies they are listing are as follows.

May 29     Freedom’s School 2013 (PG)

June 5     Breaking Away 1979 (PG)

June 12     American Graffiti 1973 (PG)

June 19     Pan’s Labyrinth 2006 (R)

June 26      Jurassic Park 1993 (PG-13)

July 10     The Wizard of Oz 1939 (PG)

July 17     Dumb and Dumber 1994 (PG-13)

July 31     The Princess Bride 1987 (PG)

August 7     Back to the Future 1985 (PG)

August 14     Disney Movie, Voter’s Choice

August 21     La Bamba 1989 (PG-13)

August 28     Romy & Michelle 1997 (R)

September 4     The Outsiders 1983 (PG-13)

September 11     The Bridesmaids 2011 (R)

September 18     Motorcycle Diaries 2004 (R)

September 25     Almost Famous 2000 (R)

October 2     Tootsie 1982 (R)

October 9     Shawshank Redemption 1994 (R)

October 16     Stand By Me 1986 (R)

October 23    Coming to America 1987 (R)

October 30     Beetlejuice 1988 (PG)

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Enjoy a film in the Philbrook Museum Gardens on June 26 from 7:30 – 10:30 am. Midnight in Paris with Owen Wilson will showing. The north garden gates are open at 7:30 pm.  The film begins at dusk. Food trucks and entertainment will be part of the evening to celebrate Philbrook’s 75th anniversary.  This is a FREE event to member and non members. All ages are welcome. I am not sure on the rating on this movie. So if you have very young ones you may want to check that out.  For more information you can go to www.philbrook.org . In the event of rain the film will be shown in the Patti Johnson Wilson Hall.

Special Note: All of these movies at the different venues may not be suitable for your children and their specific ages or your specific value system. As always as a parent we have to consciously decide what is best for our children to view. 

How to Get More of What YOU Want In Your Relationship with This Powerful Morning Ritual

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4WaysToGetOutOfBed_56400221_n_lgAre there things you want in your relationship with your spouse or maybe with your child ? It may be you want more communication or more affection or time together. Regardless of what you want, you can use this simple, easy strategy to begin to get more of what you want. I am talking about using the powerful combination of Morning Gratitude and Intention. Here is the basic foundation of starting a Daily Morning Gratitude and Intention Practice.

1. Upon waking in the morning, before you get out of bed, think about what you are grateful for. In this case, as we are talking about your relationship, make sure to include what you are thankful for in regard to your relationship.  Be specific as you think about what you like that is going on in your relationship and how you appreciate these things. 

2. Then think about what you want in your relationship. Maybe it is for more communication with your spouse or maybe it is more hugs between the two of you, etc.

3. After you decide what you want then tell yourself what you want to have happen in PRESENT tense. This speeds the process.

Example: “I am communicating more with  _____________. I see us talking and connecting.”

Example: “I am spending more time with ___________. We are enjoying this time together.”

4. BELIEVE the intentions you have created.

5. Feel how good this will feel and visualize this happening.

6. Give thanks for what you foresee happening.

 

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This is a wonderful way to start your day. The more you do of this, the more it will work. We can set the tone and momentum for good things to happen in our relationships. We have more control that we think. Enjoy this creative wonderful process as you start your day!

Setting Boundaries with Love

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Mother and daughter talking on couch

 

As parents we spend much of our time setting boundaries with our children. Sometimes we worry about how our children feel about us as we are the disciplinarians, asking them to come home on time, clean their rooms, etc. Well they may not always be happy with us, but in the long run they will be so happy that we set boundaries and encouraged them to be self disciplined, responsible adults. Our role is not one of being a friend or companion, but one of being a parent. Not always an easy task, but one of the most important things we can do.

One thing we do want to do is remind our children that we love them and that is why we set boundaries and keep them safe. So one strategy is to combine our boundary setting with words of love.

“Your return time for tonight is 9:00 pm. I know that seems early. But as it is a school night, I  want you to be fresh and alert for tomorrow. I love you and want the best for you.”

“Only two cookies please. I know you want more, but I want you to stay healthy and strong. You are important to me and I care about your body.”

“I cannot let you hit your sister. You will need to use your words. I want you to know how to solve problems peacefully. You are so special to me, I want the best for you.”

“I don’t like how you are talking to me. It feels disrespectful. I want you to find another way to tell me what you are upset about.  I respect you and want you to respect me also.”

 

Yes this takes more time and thought. But it is so worth it. Not only will your children be more inclined to be cooperative, but they will also know you love them. And don’t all children need and want this. It is a win win – communicating boundaries with words of love.