Gratitude Journals that Build Relationships

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Gratitude journals are not new, but they are still a practice I find very helpful for myself and my clients. And there are so many different ways to use them. Traditionally they are a daily log of what good things have happened for us that day. It is a way of capturing all the good and reminding our self of what is going well in our lives.  Helping us to not let the negative bias of our brain drown out all of the good that has been going on.  I was thinking wouldn’t it be nice to take this concept and use it for “relationship building”.  So I have chosen this forum to focus on Gratitude Journals that Build Relationships.


 

Keeping a “Relationship Gratitude Journal”

The Rationale

Relationships thrive on compliments, gratitude and appreciation. The outside world can deal us disappointment and upset at times. When our relationships are filled with the good it is so much easier to get our balance and feel better. And when we feel good about ourselves and our loved ones we feel more inclined to put more into our relationship to keep it strong and well. Gratitude builds good feelings and that is an essential part of a healthy relationship – feeling positive feelings, which leads to feeling connected.

Basic Guidelines

  •  You will be writing about what you appreciate or feel thankful for in regard to your loved one. This could be your husband, your significant other, your daughter or son.  You will need to decide who you want to focus on.
  • Focusing on specific actions and using detailed description of what it is they did or said or didn’t say, etc is most helpful. For example: “I was so grateful when John started supper when I came home late from work.” OR “I loved it when Susan took time to listen to me about . . . even though I know she was busy with . . . “
  • Be expansive and try to broaden out what you see and hear from your loved one to help illuminate all the parts you see and are grateful for.  Try to write about different things that you see. It is ok to duplicate, but try to think of all the different things that are there to appreciate. Being specific with the specific day or the specific week will help to be more expansive.
  • Ideally this would be a joint project, in which both of you are doing your own gratitude journal.

How to Create YOUR Gratitude Journal that Builds Your Relationship:

  • Find a journal that you really like and will draw you to use it every day. Of course any note-book or pad of paper will work. So don’t let not having a “perfect” journal get in the way of keeping a Relationship Gratitude Journal. But if possible find a journal that really calls to you.
  • Design a plan of action as to how you will do YOUR Relationship Journal.
  1. Who am I going to focus on? My husband or partner? My children? My entire family?
  2. How often do I want to record my feelings in my gratitude journal? Daily? Weekly?
  3. Will I choose a specific number of entries I strive for or will it be completely open-ended?
  4. Will both of us keep a gratitude journal? Is this a joint endeavor or is this just an individual project?
  5. When and where will you share your gratitude feelings? Daily or Weekly?

Gratitude Journals in ACTION:

Sharing your journal entries with each other OR you only sharing your entry with your loved one is putting this “Gratitude Journal” into ACTION. This takes a gratitude journal to a whole new level. Not only do you feel the wonderful feeling of gratitude but your loved one does as well. So you are now building relationship and connection. This is a bit of a different twist than a traditional gratitude journal. This is expanding and sharing the wonderful appreciative feelings you have discovered.

Again it is ideal to both be sharing your feelings of gratitude. But you can start with just one of you, if one is not able to do this or not wanting to do this. Any feelings of gratitude that are shared are helpful and build a sense of love and connection. Gratitude = Connection.

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Storing Up the Good – A Yearly Blessing Jar Tradition

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Sometimes we can forget all the good that has happened to us. The everyday upsets sometimes get in our way of remembering all the blessings that have occurred for us. I decided to start a new tradition this year in our family – A yearly recounting of all of our blessings from the past year. I decided it is a fitting January activity to start the new year out. Remembering what is good is an excellent way to start the momentum to more blessings and more happiness. For me gratitude is a basic foundation for happiness and creating more of what we want. This could be done any time of the year of course, but winter is a time that could use a bit of sunlight to shine in our darkest part of the year.

So let’s store or can up the harvest that we have reaped from this past year. Here is my idea of how to make this happen. Hopefully it will give you a start to designing your own format of how to “store up” the good stuff from this past year.

  1. Gather your family up and explain what you are wanting to do – Create a Blessing Jar for all the good things that have happened in the past year. These can be good things that have happened to each of you personally or to a family member or to your family as a whole. It can be larger highlights or it can be very small things that have occurred, maybe a small piece of progress toward something you are wanting. Note: You can of course just do this as a couple activity or for yourself as an individual activity. 
  2. For fun use a canning jar, such as a Ball or Mason jar for the storing or canning up of your blessings. Of course any jar with a lid will work. I would suggest a quart sized jar or whatever size you need to hold your blessings of your family.
  3. Have each choose a color of paper to represent their blessings they are adding to the blessing jar.  Have scissors available for folks to cut out their strips of paper. It can help for each person to add their name to their blessing so if in the future the family decides to look back at the blessings they will know who wrote them.
  4. As each person adds a blessing to the jar, encourage them to read it out loud so others can hear what they are seeing as a good thing that has happened to them in the past year. This can be a respectful witnessing of each others good feelings and acknowledging the importance of what has occurred for them. We might even reflect on what has been offered for the blessing jar. We can make a comment or ask a question to find out more about what made this so good for your family member.
  5. This can lead to thanks for these blessings or some kind of conversation about being grateful for all the good that has happened in the past year. This can also lead to a discussion about what we are wanting in the coming year. To keep it short or workable for children you can possibly have each person share one thing they are wanting for the new year. You want to keep this to be a positive experience for everyone. If you feel you are losing folks, it is ok to break the activity into two spaces of time or to simplify the activity. There is no wrong or right way to do this. The main goal is to share with one another the good stuff that is happening in your family and showing gratitude for these blessings.
  6. Mark the top of your jar with the year you are reflecting on and gathering the good stuff from.
  7. Store your “canned goods” someplace where you can access them when  you would like to in the future. Hopefully you can find a place in which you can each year add a new Blessing Jar. How cool will it be to add a new jar each year and see a growing collection of canned goods.

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I hope you will find your own version of reflecting on all of the good things that have happened for you and for your family in the past year. I think you will also find this activity to be a connecting one as sharing the good has a way of making us feel closer.  Best wishes for a wonderful new year ahead filled with opportunities and more blessings to come.

What is Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples?

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How we move with our partners creates a very special relationship dance. Sometimes this dance is healthy, with a secure attachment. And other times not so much.  Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples helps partners to hear the music (or emotion) and follow each other’s moves with exquisite attunement promoting a secure bonding with one another.  Dr. Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples has a 70-75 % recovery rate and a significant improvement rate of 86- 90%.

I did some training this last week with Dr. Johnson in Tampa, Florida.  EFT is a model used for couples therapy that is backed up by over 25 years of research. This model is a mix of experiential, systemic and attachment theories. I was excited to have the opportunity to do training with this talented  researcher and therapist.

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The EFT evidence based interventions are powerful in helping couples to be able to re-establish safe emotional connections. Couples learn how to identify and de-escalate negative circular patterns. This repair is done through bonding, emotionally engaged interactions.

This model of therapy is set up to be done in 8 – 20 sessions. Some circumstances will take a longer course of treatment. But in general this is set up to be a short-term counseling model.

I personally like how this model addresses the core issues for couples and helps them to truly hear each other and address their attachment needs within the relationship. EFT is all about building a strong, safe and loving connection between couples. Dr. Johnson feels “empathic responsiveness” is the essence of EFT.

Below is a 20 minute introduction video presented by Dr. Sue Johnson on Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples.

 

Notes:

  • If you want to see a listing of the research studies and summarizes on EFT go to www.iceeft.com.
  • Dr. Sue Johnson’s website is: www:drsuejohnson.com . Her books, dvds, blog, etc are located on this website.
  • Dr. Johnson recommends her book Hold Me Tight for couples to read.

5 Ways to Create Holidays That are Meaningful and Joyful

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Does it matter what we do on the holidays? We all have pretty high expectations for the holidays and many times are disappointed. So why is that? As we scurry and go as fast as we can, we sometimes find it all a bit exhausting and a bit shallow. But we can have the holidays that we want. So what can we do to create holidays that are meaningful and joyful?

1. Decide what you WANT for YOUR HOLIDAY.  What a wonderful opportunity for you and your family to really talk about what matters to you as a family and what you can do to make it happen. You can call a special family meeting and ask for everyone’s opinion and try to really incorporate as many ideas as possible. It may be up to you as parents, if you have children, to lead this discussion helping children and adolescents expand their ideas about what Christmas might be about.  Before you lead your discussion with your family, you may want to decide as parents what you think is important and what you feel about the holidays. This can help you be prepared and be able to lead a thoughtful conversation. So what do you want???

2. Now that you know what you want, HOW can you achieve it? One way is to “brainstorm as a family” about how you can create THIS HOLIDAY that you want. Maybe you want to spend time together as a family? So decide as a family what this might look like and schedule it in. Maybe you decide it is about giving to those in need. So you all consider possible ways to do this. Planning together as a family with all involved in some way makes this kind of activity most rewarding. Maybe your family decides you want to be less commercial, so you decide how that would look for your family. Of course, you may have multiple things you want to achieve. It is all about what YOU and your family want and need for the holiday to be meaningful and joyful.

3. Be REALISTIC with your plans. The gist of this I think is we really can not do it all and we will probably have to CHOOSE what is most important to us. That can be hard for all of us. There are so many opportunities and things we can do.  They all pull at us. And it can be hard to say NO, but it really is ok to do so. It can be done respectfully and with appreciation for the offer. I remember one year after Christmas a co-worker telling me, “I am just glad it is all over.” If that is normally how we feel after the holidays, it may be time to re-look at how we are doing the holidays. It is also important for us to distribute the work load of the holidays. I have one relative who has said to me, “I hate the holidays. It is just all too much as I am the one who does it all.” So this is a needed family conversation.  In our home in recent years, my husband buys the guy gifts and I buy the gal gifts. It is a way to distribute the load. Look at your own unique situation and find a way so all can enjoy the holidays.

4. Take a Technology Break. As much as possible think about taking a break from technology and spending that extra time it creates with your loved ones. They will love you for it. This is a gift in itself.  Some possible limits might include: No cell usage during planned holiday events. Taking pics of each other would probably be a more connecting kind of use of technology so this may be an exception to this cell use limit. Video games and like kind of activities would not be considered a holiday activity unless it is done as a family and in a limited kind of way so there is time for other kinds of connecting. Or if this feels too restricting you could consider putting a limit on how much time is spent doing tech kind of activities and when these are ok. Letting children and adolescents know why you are setting these boundaries may help soften this request. Tell your children how much you love them and how you really want to spend one on one time with them during the holiday. You can point out to them that you too are taking a “technology break”.

5. Be flexible and be ready to go with the flow. Let the good come in even when things do not go as planned. Most holidays are not perfect and if we go into them knowing that we may have to be flexible and we may have to be ok with some shifts or changes, it seems to go better. “Choosing to be happy” even when some things go awry can help. Letting the good still come in even when the weather interferes with a planned activity or someone gets sick, etc. allows for joy even when things are not perfect.  Acknowledge and help each other to remember all the good that is going on. Talk about it, This helps to amplify and let it really soak in.

Enjoy this season ahead and remember what is important to you and your family. That is all that really matters. Happy Holidays to you all!

Girl And Mother With Cookies

 

DATE NIGHTS – Are they really needed? YES, YES, YES

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Ok, you have been married 5 years or maybe 25 years. Is it really necessary to go to all the trouble to have a date night? I say YES, YES, YES. You may be thinking, but that is for before you get married, when you are getting to know someone better or wooing your sweetheart. Of course it does fit during those times.  But don’t we want to continue to know and understand our partner as they grow and develop? Plus courting behavior will keep your connection strong and vibrant. Let’s look at some more reasons why we may want to consider having DATE NIGHTS.

WHY HAVE A DATE NIGHT?

  1. First of all it is a message we send to each other that we love and want to stay connected with each other. Plus, it shows we value spending one on one time with our partner and that they are worth the effort of planning and executing doing some fun, enjoyable things together.
  2. Our worlds are crazy busy and without planned one on one time, it may not happen. Sometimes I hear the objection of doing a planned activity, voicing that aren’t spontaneous outings better. I do agree spontaneous outings and times together are magical and I think important. But, I also know realistically with heavy work schedules, children’s events, community or church involvement, etc., the chances of the spontaneous outings are harder to come by. They can and still should be a part of dates I think. But if you have a planned, set time you go out together, it is more likely to happen if you are as busy as most couples and families are today. So by all means do both if you can, but for a “sure deal” consider scheduling a weekly date night.
  3. A DATE NIGHT gives you an opportunity to stay connected on a level past “Who is picking up the children?” or “How was your day?” These are important conversations. But to really have time to “be with” each other and converse at a deeper level, a time just for one on one focus of one another is so helpful.
  4. It is a good model for our children. We are teaching our children what to do to stay connected and nurture a relationship. Whatever we present to our children can affect how they will interact as a couple. They may not say, “I am so happy you are going out tonight.” but as they develop their own future relationships they will have learned that this is one of the ways couples care and stay connected with one another. This is how they show their love and commitment.

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BASIC THINGS TO CONSIDER IN REGARD TO DATE NIGHTS

  • First of all, a date night can be a date day or date lunch or date breakfast, etc. They do not have to be at night. Do what works for you.
  • If possible do put in place a regular set time. This will keep you more on track with this kind of structure. On the other hand, if this is not possible then consider planning a month out with times that you know will work in your schedule. Do what you need to do to create this special time. Sometimes it means getting creative. It may be a lunch date at the park during your work day.
  • Find a babysitter you REALLY like and trust if you have children. This will allow you to fully enjoy your date night.
  • Try to schedule enough time to really relax and enjoy yourselves. On the other hand, if you have young children and feel uncomfortable being gone for too long, then take the time you do feel comfortable with and enjoy it.
  • Planning for your date night can be done in a couple different ways. 1. You can do a joint, collaborative planning. 2. You can take turns planning them. 3. Or a mix of the previous suggestions. You can talk about it and see what fits you as a couple. One of the keys is trying to incorporate things you both enjoy doing. This can be things you both enjoy doing or it can be a taking turns in some kind of fashion as to including individual interests. Of course if one of you really hates doing a particular something, it may or may not be something you put on the date night list
  • Think outside of the “dinner and a movie” box. This is not to say that you may not enjoy this and want to do this. Sometimes it is a relaxing, comfort date. This is just a suggestion to consider broadening your activity palette. This keeps things lively and fun. You might brainstorm together every so often, a list of things you might like to do together. You can keep this list handy as you schedule in your date nights.
  • Consider using your date night to develop some new joint interests. This might be cooking classes or hiking or biking, etc.
  • Make it a TECHNOLOGY  or SCREEN FREE date night. Basically, this would be choosing not to engage in using cell phones or other technology devices while you are on your date. This would include no texting. The problem is that when we are on our phone or texting, etc,  we are not really present or there for our partner. And that is really the purpose of a date night. So screened devices and being on a date are a bit at odds with each other. There are exceptions. Some folks have jobs in which they are on call and have no choice. If this can be kept to the minimum this can help.
  • If you cannot do your date night, if at all possible reschedule for another day or night that week. This keeps the commitment to each other to have this time together on a regular basis.

Date, Play, Enjoy this wonderful life together. ♥♥

Six Ways to Create More Romance in Your Relationship

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Want to create more romance in your relationship? We start out with romance in our relationship. We court and woo each other. We find ways to make the other know they are special to us. We are really there for our loved one, physically and emotionally. Romance is hard to define as it will very well mean something a bit different for each of us. But in general, romance is about a focus and intensity of “I love you and want to make you happy and really be with you.”

Do we need romance in our relationships. I say “YES”. We all want to feel special and want to feel we are not taken for granted and that our loved one cares enough for us to plan and do spontaneously romantic gestures. So let’s look at what we can do to create more romance in our relationships. Below are some things to consider.

  1. Deciding What is Romantic for Your Loved One – Romance can mean different things to different people. So it is important to know what your sweetheart sees as romantic. It may not feel “romantic” to talk about it, but if we really do not know, it is good to ask our loved one what feels romantic to them. This will generate warm feelings in itself because it shows you care and you want to give your spouse or significant other the romance they deserve. You can simply say, “I want to put more romance in our relationship. What feels romantic to you? I want to try to be more romantic for you.”
  2. Making Time for Romance – We are all busy. Sometimes crazy busy. But there are still ways to make time for romance. Yes, flying to an exotic island retreat is romantic, but so is picking some roses from your flower garden and giving them to your wife with a simple “I love you.”  I know we have all heard the expression “You make time for the things that are important to you.” And this is the case here as well.  If need be schedule it in.  Do what works for you.
  3. Taking Advantage of Romantic Opportunities – Let’s look at some opportunities to be romantic. Note: These are general in nature. And as mentioned earlier we are all unique in what specifically feels romantic to us. Some possibilities: * Using the Ever Present Power of Touch – Giving a hello and goodbye kiss and hug; Holding hands as you watch a movie together (this includes at home); If you are a guy opening the door for your gal (yes it is a bit old-fashioned, but most women still like this and if not you stop); Sitting by your loved one as you watch the news together;     * A night-time walk outside together can be fun and romantic – looking at the stars, etc.   * Planning for a weekly date night     * Remembering all important anniversaries, birthdays, etc and planning a special time together      * Making breakfast in bed for your spouse or partner; A little gift for no reason at all; and so much more.   Check it out and find out what is romantic for YOUR loved one.
  4. Being Spontaneous with Your Romantic Gestures – Being spontaneously romantic may or may not come naturally to you. But the more you can flow with what presents itself the more opportunities you will find to show your sweetheart how much you love them. For example: A spontaneous hug for no reason at all can feel very romantic.  You seeing your wife overwhelmed and you volunteering to ________________ (whatever it is), even though it is not your turn. A last-minute get away as you are both fried and need some time to re-coop and relax. Doing something with your loved one that you know they love to do that you may not be wild about, but you do it anyway as you know they enjoy it so much. A spontaneous love note you leave in your husband’s billfold. A “I love you and was just thinking of you” text. A special treat you leave in the seat of your loved one’s vehicle. 
  5. Doing our Part in Creating Romance  – If you want more romance in your relationship, one way to help this along is to be more romantic yourself. Many times when we initiate good things we will get them in return.
  6. Thanking our Loved One When They are Romantic and Seeing These Romantic Gestures Grow – When our significant other or spouse does a romantic gesture we can thank them or tell them how it makes us feel. This will increase the chances of seeing this happen again. Be as diligent as a detective in looking for these romantic gestures and bringing them to light attracts more of this kind of interaction. For example: Your wife gives you a spontaneous hug, You might say something like: “I needed that. Thanks.”

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As so many other things it is all about our focus and intent. If we choose we can do this so important relationship building piece. Here is to lots of romance in your relationship. 

Utica Square Summer’s Fifth Night Free Concerts

utica square thursday free summer concerts

Looking for a FREE family or couple activity in Tulsa? Check out Utica Square’s Summer’s Fifth’s Night 2014 Summer Concert Schedule. This is on Thursday nights from 7-9 pm through August. And best of all, it is FREE. So many of the summer events end in July, so it is nice to find one that runs through August. I have listed the rest of the summer dates and who is performing through the end of August.

July 24     Usual Suspects     Rock and Roll

July 31     Red Dirt Rangers     Red Dirt Country

August 7     Traveler     Rock

August 14     Jeff Shadley’s Mad Men of Swing    Rat Pack Music

August 21     Jessica Hunt Band     Blues/Soul

August 28     Grady Nichols     Jazz 

For more information go to: www.uticasquare.com/events/summers-fifth-night

So enjoy some music, dance a bit, maybe have a picnic or take in one of the restaurants in Utica Square. A fun family or couple event and FREE 🙂

Rebuilding Your Empty Nest

empty bird next

Is it time to rebuild your nest? Are you an empty nester? You may be thinking am I an empty nester and does that really ever happen. Yes and no. You will always have a spot for your babies to come back and roost for a bit if they need to and you will still have your kiddos in your life. But as your children start to leave for college you are in the process of your nest emptying. AND this is the time where new possibilities begin to open and appear for you as a couple.

REBUILDING YOUR EMPTY NEST

  1. Support One Another – This is a time to reflect and decide what you need as a couple at this point in time. Going through this process  can feel painful for some folks and you may go through a bit of a grieving process. So you really have to be there for each other. You may each handle it in a different way.
  2. Give Yourselves a Pat on the Back for Your Years of Active Parenting – This is not to say you will no longer be a parent. You will enter a different phase of parenting and there will be a transition as your children leave college, as they marry, as they have children, etc, etc. But do take time to congratulate yourself on all you did to raise your children. It is not always an easy job and recognizing and giving yourself credit for what you did is important.
  3. Create New Goals for Yourself as a Couple and as an Individual – As your responsibilities for active parenting of children in the home has ended, you will find you have this lovely space to create new goals and to redefine possibly what you feel your purpose in life is. This is true for you as a couple and as an individual. This can help with your grieving process of transitioning from a certain stage of parenting.
  4. Have Fun, Love life and Enjoy Your Freedom – You do not have a soccer game you have to attend. You do not have to take the kids to practice. You do not have to be in three places at once. You are free. You have more time to be with each other as a couple and more time to pursue individual interests. It is a wonderful time to re-connect and start dating and getting to know each other again. To travel a bit. Or to take up yoga. Or whatever it is you have held off on.
  5. Remember You Will Always Be a Parent – It will just shift as to your role. So do not despair. It is never really over. But it does change. But that is ok, you are ready for a new adventure!

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So grieve if you need to. Talk about your feelings with each other. But remember you have new wonderful opportunities ahead of you. So enjoy!

Crystal Gardens Museum in Arkansas – A “Must Do” Trip for Couples or Families

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Looking for a  trip as a couple or maybe as a family, then I hope you will consider Crystal Gardens Museum of American Art, nestled in the Ozarks in Bentonville Arkansas,  just a little over two hours from Tulsa.  I think is a “must do” trip if you enjoy art museums and walking trails.  We were so delighted with this beautiful space created by world-renowned architect, Moshe Safdie. There are 8 pavilions linked by 2 large creek fed ponds. There are 6 galleries to explore, a lovely eating area looking over a wonder Ozark vista and several walking trails. In addition, a special children’s area is set up for children to participate in some hands on art activities. Then there is the world-class art with wonderful exhibits. My favorite was some of the George Washington paintings and then I loved seeing some of the Rosie the Riveter paintings. Some wonderful modern art too and lots of architecture displays.

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This wonderful Arkansas treasure opened in 2011. It is the brainchild of Alice Walton, with Wal-Mart being the main funding source for this amazing museum.  For more detailed information go to the museums website: crystalbridges.org We were surprised that museum admission was free. If you want to experience their most current exhibit there is a charge for that gallery. Check their website or face book page for admission fees for these special exhibits. Folks are encouraged to picnic in their gardens.  Again check their website for a few exception spaces on picnicking. We also noticed some bike trails available. There was a nice variety of trails, some paved and short and others more rustic and longer. One of their popular trails is the Art Trail, which has sculptures to enjoy as you walk the trail.

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This would be a wonderful romantic getaway or it could also be a fun family trip. I hope you will have an opportunity to visit this wonderful museum soon.

Random Acts of Kindness in Your Relationship = Loving Feelings & Connection

couple cooking

There are expected acts of kindness in all relationships and then there are random acts of kindness in your relationship. The latter is when you choose to do something that is kind or supportive or loving that is not expected or part of the agreement that you have with one another, whether it be a spoken agreement or one that is unspoken. Random Acts of Kindness in your relationship equals Love in Action.

When you actively do something that is kind or supportive or nurturing that is not expected in your relationship, you are creating exquisite connections with your loved one. How can you not feel connected and loved when your partner is going above and beyond what is expected.

Even though these acts of kindness should be done ideally to show our love to our loved one, it may help to know there are big benefits for you also. Here are a few of them.

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  • People who partake in giving acts of kindness are happier. It feels good to do something kind for others. It is important to note that the Act of Kindness should be something you want to do, not feel you are being forced to do or hate to do. They should be genuine, authentic acts of kindness with nothing expected in return.
  • Research shows that folks who do Random Acts of Kindness  are less stressed and have stronger immune systems.
  • These acts improve your self-esteem, how you view your self.
  • And as to your relationship, it will create positive, loving feelings that will circulate throughout your relationship creating love and connection. 
  • You may find these “Random Acts of Kindness” are contagious. You too may have a “Random Act of Kindness” passed on to you, with you being the recipient. 

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It is not always easy to send these “Random Acts of Kindness” out. We are busy, we are tired, we may feel we need a Random Act of Kindness to come our way. And there are times when it does not make sense to send these out. But when we can and it feels the right thing to do and we want to, it can create some very loving feelings. The love and connection and support it creates is the stuff a good relationship is build on.

For those of you who like concrete examples, here is one taken from my own personal life.  My husband went to bed early as he was exhausted from traveling and had to be up early the next day to do more traveling. As my morning did not need to start quite as early and I was feeling good due to a less intense day, I decided to put my husband’s green smoothie together for him as I knew it would be hard for him to do in the am having to leave early. Plus the truth is I am a bit of a night owl. So instead of indulging in some reading, I made my husband a smoothie to help him out with his early departure. Thus my Random Act of Kindness.

Here are a few potential ones to consider. But you will have your own unique ones that are a perfect fit for your loved one.

  • Take over a chore that is normally one assigned to your spouse or partner that you know is going to be very difficult for them to do.
  • Do a text letting them know you are thinking of them and that you love them.
  • Leave a surprise on the seat of their car to surprise them – it could be a gift or a snack or love note, etc.
  • Encourage your exhausted spouse to go to bed, even though you really want to talk with them.
  • Bring home flowers or something you know will be a happy surprise for your sweetie. 

I encourage you to try some Random Acts of Kindness out in your relationship. I think you will be glad you did. And if by chance you are the recipient of an Act of Random Kindness by your loved one, do reciprocate this act back to your dear loved one. And by all means tell them how you felt when this act of kindness of bestowed upon you. This will encourage you both to create a wonderful dance of random acts of kindness.