Want to create more romance in your relationship? We start out with romance in our relationship. We court and woo each other. We find ways to make the other know they are special to us. We are really there for our loved one, physically and emotionally. Romance is hard to define as it will very well mean something a bit different for each of us. But in general, romance is about a focus and intensity of “I love you and want to make you happy and really be with you.”

Do we need romance in our relationships. I say “YES”. We all want to feel special and want to feel we are not taken for granted and that our loved one cares enough for us to plan and do spontaneously romantic gestures. So let’s look at what we can do to create more romance in our relationships. Below are some things to consider.

1. Deciding What is Romantic for Your Loved One – Romance can mean different things to different people. So it is important to know what your sweetheart sees as romantic. It may not feel “romantic” to talk about it, but if we really do not know, it is good to ask our loved one what feels romantic to them. This will generate warm feelings in itself because it shows you care and you want to give your spouse or significant other the romance they deserve. You can simply say, “I want to put more romance in our relationship. What feels romantic to you? I want to try to be more romantic for you.”
2. Making Time for Romance – We are all busy. Sometimes crazy busy. But there are still ways to make time for romance. Yes, flying to an exotic island retreat is romantic, but so is picking some roses from your flower garden and giving them to your wife with a simple “I love you.”  I know we have all heard the expression “You make time for the things that are important to you.” And this is the case here as well.  If need be schedule it in.  Do what works for you.
3. Taking Advantage of Romantic Opportunities – Let’s look at some opportunities to be romantic. Note: These are general in nature. And as mentioned earlier we are all unique in what specifically feels romantic to us. Some possibilities: * Using the Ever Present Power of Touch – Giving a hello and goodbye kiss and hug; Holding hands as you watch a movie together (this includes at home); If you are a guy opening the door for your gal (yes it is a bit old-fashioned, but most women still like this and if not you stop); Sitting by your loved one as you watch the news together;     * A night-time walk outside together can be fun and romantic – looking at the stars, etc.   * Planning for a weekly date night     * Remembering all important anniversaries, birthdays, etc and planning a special time together      * Making breakfast in bed for your spouse or partner; A little gift for no reason at all; and so much more.   Check it out and find out what is romantic for YOUR loved one.
4. Being Spontaneous with Your Romantic Gestures – Being spontaneously romantic may or may not come naturally to you. But the more you can flow with what presents itself the more opportunities you will find to show your sweetheart how much you love them. For example: A spontaneous hug for no reason at all can feel very romantic.  You seeing your wife overwhelmed and you volunteering to ________________ (whatever it is), even though it is not your turn. A last-minute get away as you are both fried and need some time to re-coop and relax. Doing something with your loved one that you know they love to do that you may not be wild about, but you do it anyway as you know they enjoy it so much. A spontaneous love note you leave in your husband’s billfold. A “I love you and was just thinking of you” text. A special treat you leave in the seat of your loved one’s vehicle. 
5. Doing our Part in Creating Romance  – If you want more romance in your relationship, one way to help this along is to be more romantic yourself. Many times when we initiate good things we will get them in return.
6. Thanking our Loved One When They are Romantic and Seeing These Romantic Gestures Grow – When our significant other or spouse does a romantic gesture we can thank them or tell them how it makes us feel. This will increase the chances of seeing this happen again. Be as diligent as a detective in looking for these romantic gestures and bringing them to light attracts more of this kind of interaction. For example: Your wife gives you a spontaneous hug, You might say something like: “I needed that. Thanks.”

As so many other things it is all about our focus and intent. If we choose we can do this so important relationship building piece. Here is to lots of romance in your relationship. ♥