Six Ways to Create More Romance in Your Relationship


Want to create more romance in your relationship? We start out with romance in our relationship. We court and woo each other. We find ways to make the other know they are special to us. We are really there for our loved one, physically and emotionally. Romance is hard to define as it will very well mean something a bit different for each of us. But in general, romance is about a focus and intensity of “I love you and want to make you happy and really be with you.”

Do we need romance in our relationships. I say “YES”. We all want to feel special and want to feel we are not taken for granted and that our loved one cares enough for us to plan and do spontaneously romantic gestures. So let’s look at what we can do to create more romance in our relationships. Below are some things to consider.

  1. Deciding What is Romantic for Your Loved One – Romance can mean different things to different people. So it is important to know what your sweetheart sees as romantic. It may not feel “romantic” to talk about it, but if we really do not know, it is good to ask our loved one what feels romantic to them. This will generate warm feelings in itself because it shows you care and you want to give your spouse or significant other the romance they deserve. You can simply say, “I want to put more romance in our relationship. What feels romantic to you? I want to try to be more romantic for you.”
  2. Making Time for Romance – We are all busy. Sometimes crazy busy. But there are still ways to make time for romance. Yes, flying to an exotic island retreat is romantic, but so is picking some roses from your flower garden and giving them to your wife with a simple “I love you.”  I know we have all heard the expression “You make time for the things that are important to you.” And this is the case here as well.  If need be schedule it in.  Do what works for you.
  3. Taking Advantage of Romantic Opportunities – Let’s look at some opportunities to be romantic. Note: These are general in nature. And as mentioned earlier we are all unique in what specifically feels romantic to us. Some possibilities: * Using the Ever Present Power of Touch – Giving a hello and goodbye kiss and hug; Holding hands as you watch a movie together (this includes at home); If you are a guy opening the door for your gal (yes it is a bit old-fashioned, but most women still like this and if not you stop); Sitting by your loved one as you watch the news together;     * A night-time walk outside together can be fun and romantic – looking at the stars, etc.   * Planning for a weekly date night     * Remembering all important anniversaries, birthdays, etc and planning a special time together      * Making breakfast in bed for your spouse or partner; A little gift for no reason at all; and so much more.   Check it out and find out what is romantic for YOUR loved one.
  4. Being Spontaneous with Your Romantic Gestures – Being spontaneously romantic may or may not come naturally to you. But the more you can flow with what presents itself the more opportunities you will find to show your sweetheart how much you love them. For example: A spontaneous hug for no reason at all can feel very romantic.  You seeing your wife overwhelmed and you volunteering to ________________ (whatever it is), even though it is not your turn. A last-minute get away as you are both fried and need some time to re-coop and relax. Doing something with your loved one that you know they love to do that you may not be wild about, but you do it anyway as you know they enjoy it so much. A spontaneous love note you leave in your husband’s billfold. A “I love you and was just thinking of you” text. A special treat you leave in the seat of your loved one’s vehicle. 
  5. Doing our Part in Creating Romance  – If you want more romance in your relationship, one way to help this along is to be more romantic yourself. Many times when we initiate good things we will get them in return.
  6. Thanking our Loved One When They are Romantic and Seeing These Romantic Gestures Grow – When our significant other or spouse does a romantic gesture we can thank them or tell them how it makes us feel. This will increase the chances of seeing this happen again. Be as diligent as a detective in looking for these romantic gestures and bringing them to light attracts more of this kind of interaction. For example: Your wife gives you a spontaneous hug, You might say something like: “I needed that. Thanks.”

couple eating out by candle light clip art

As so many other things it is all about our focus and intent. If we choose we can do this so important relationship building piece. Here is to lots of romance in your relationship. 

A Kiss Hello and Goodbye … A Ritual of Connection


OK, don’t we all really want a kiss hello and goodbye. Of course we do. But sometimes this drifts away as time goes on. It doesn’t mean it cannot be put back into your relationship. IT CAN!

This is a way to send our partner or spouse off with the message of  “I love you and I am thinking of you and wishing you well.” It is also a way to  re-connect after being apart. The message here is “I missed you and I am glad to be back with you.” 

We have to remember to set the tone for this kind of ritual. Some things we can do to encourage this kind of ritual are as follows:

  •  Show our openness and desire for this kind of interaction. 
  • Have a discussion with our loved one about this ritual and why we want to include it on a daily basis.
  • Agree as a couple to have this as a goal and each be willing to remind the other in a respectful way. 
  • Be an initiator of this KISS!!!
  • Tell your loved one how much you enjoy your kiss goodbye or hello.
  • Remember if you are GRUMPY or are making a complaint or airing an upset feeling as you part or re-connect, THE KISS WILL GO BYE-BYE.

If a kiss is not in the cards, try for a hug. This can be a good start. Of course a kiss and a hug are the best combination! 

Note: Keep some breath mints or gum  in your car, purse and in easily accessible places in the house. This can take away the concern that you do not have the fresh breath you want for your sweetie. Here is to more KISSES!♥♥