Easy Gratitude Practice That Can Change Your LIfe

gratitude black woman looking up at sky animated

We all know when we focus on “the good”, it feels good and it creates more good. Gratitude or thankfulness is really a close cousin to focusing on “the good”. Let me share a most recent practice I have been experiencing that I have found helpful in my busy life that I would like to pass on as a possible gratitude practice that you might consider.

I have kept and still do keep a gratitude journal. Sometimes when my life is overflowing with activity, this practice can tend to give way to other things. And I really can tell a difference when I am not doing it on a consistent basis. So . . . I have tweaked this practice a bit or added a piece that works well in tandem.

Be Thankful for Each and Every Single Thing That Goes Well At That Moment in Time

This really is about being open to the good and actually saying to yourself or to others if they are involved “THANK YOU!” I think it even works best when we search for the very small things that occur for us throughout the day and acknowledge them at that very moment. It really can become a way of life. It can literally change your life for the good.

I still encourage a recording of the good in written form as there is something very powerful about the written word. It really does anchor things. So don’t throw away your gratitude journal. Just add this small practice of acknowledging the good and expressing thankfulness. Sometimes I say it out loud. A simple “Thank You”.  This can be tied into your spiritual practice if you so desire to make it even more meaningful.

Here are a few very simple small kinds of things you might be thankful for:

You are late and a parking place appears very close to where you need to go.    “Thank You!”

You have lost your keys. You take a breath and relax and it comes to you where to look and there they are.      “Thank You!”

Your husband has started supper before you get in.   “Thank You!”

You notice a the sky turning pink and orange as the sun sets.     “Thank You!”

You are at the grocery store and look at the long line. As you are about to enter the line, another checker opens and says to you, I am open here.   “Thank You!”

You catch a mistake just as you are getting ready to send out an email.     “Thank You!”

Your child unexpectedly say thank  you for something you have done.    “Thank You!”

You are getting ready to write something and it just comes to you as to the right words.   “Thank You!”

I might add that this practice is a relationship building practice as well in that the more you express appreciation to others and what they are doing, the more they will see you in a positive light. We all want to be around folks who appreciate us. You will probably find those you compliment or thank will return this action in the future. What a great way to live appreciating and expressing our gratitude to one another.

Thank You with Lady Bug animated

 

Best wishes for lots of “Thank You’s!” ahead of you. Just be on the look out.  You will find oh so many things to be thankful for.

Oh yes, “THANK YOU for reading this blog article!”

 

PRAISE That Makes Your Relationship Stronger and More Connected

couple with woman smiling

So what kind of praise can make your relationship stronger and more connected? I would say hands down, “Descriptive Praise”. It is the most powerful kind of praise as to making a connecting impact. We all like to be praised or hear the good stuff about us. But there are specific ways to give praise that is most helpful and carries the strongest punch. This is “DESCRIPTIVE PRAISE”. And the cool thing is that it can be used for all of your relationships.

What is Descriptive Praise?

Descriptive Praise is different from traditional praise, which normally is expressed with a “Good job.” OR “That was great.” OR “Wonderful”  Traditional praise is evaluative in nature. Descriptive Praise is when you describe out in detail what you have seen or heard or feel and then it is left open for the receiver to take it in and praise themselves. The sender comes across as really seeing and noticing all of the small details of what has occurred which has so much more impact. Some like to add a summation after the description of the details of what has occurred to give it a more powerful effect.

Who Can it Be Used With?

I first heard about “Descriptive Praise” when I read the book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. Later I saw the authors speak when they came to Tulsa.  I then became involved in teaching their group workshop materials and have found through the years that “Descriptive Praise” is applicable for all relationships: Parent / Child and Couples. Actually for any relationship.

What Are the Specific Benefits of Descriptive Praise?

  • A closer connection with your loved one who feels very acknowledged and really very seen and heard.
  • The receiver will feel good about their behavior as it has been witnessed by a loved one or someone who they know and care about. It can be a self-esteem booster.
  • It gives the receiver an opportunity to look in detail at what they have done and praise themselves. This is a very healthy kind of praise.
  • In regard to parent / child relationships, the detailed nature of descriptive praise helps to wire the brain with what parents may feel is behavior that they wish and hope their children to continue.

Examples for Your Consideration

couple eating salad and smiling

Couple Examples:

“I see you have made supper for us tonight. And look at all that chopping and pre work you have done to make our veggie soup. You even made a fresh green salad to go with it. You are really taking care of us! Thank you.”

“I was so busy and I know I told you I was going to throw in a load of laundry, but I forgot. Looks like you did it for me. You saw I was over my head and came to my rescue.”

“I loved my Valentine’s present. You noticed me looking at those pretty scarfs and went back and bought me one. You were really paying attention to what I like. That makes me feel so special.”

child and parent talking and smiling

Parent / Child Examples:

” You picked up your room. All the books are on the shelf. The clothes are in the hamper. Your papers on your desk. And legos in their special Lego bin. That is what I call being organized.”

” You came home and got a snack and went straight to your room to work on your home work. You chose to get your homework done early. You were thinking ahead.”

“You were mad at your friend and you choose to use your words instead of hitting him. You know how to control yourself.”

 

I hope you will give descriptive praise a try with your loved ones. It may feel a bit wordy but I think you will find the effort very much worth your time. I know your loved ones will love it and you for it!

My ending example. This one is for you 🙂 “You saw this blog title and decided this article was worth taking a look at. So you took your time and read it through. You are open to new ideas to improve your relationships. You take time for what is important to you.”

So how did that feel?

 

Source for the original descriptive praise concept: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.

“We Love and Appreciate You!” Birthday Book

“We Love and Appreciate You!” Birthday Book

This last week was my birthday and my family presented me with a Birthday Book filled with notes of love and appreciation from my family and friends. This is something I have put together for a number of people in … Continue reading