Category Archives: Uncategorized

Update on Hunter Park – A Fun Outing for a Couple or Family

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hunter park dog park

Biscuit Acres Dog Park

It is time to go back outdoors and enjoy nature. Yea! Consider a visit to Hunter Park here in Tulsa. We had not been in a long time and were surprised at all of the improvements that they have made. It could be a very fun outing for a couple or for a family. It is composed of 71 acres. Hunter Park located at 5504 E 91st St, Tulsa, OK.  Here is what we found at our recent visit to Hunter Park.

  • Biscuit Acres, A Dog Park ( Only one of two public dog parks in Tulsa. The other is Joe Station on Charles Page Blvd. )
  • Basket Ball Courts
  • Frisbee Golf (You need to bring your own frisbee. )
  • Point 9 miles long walking / jogging / biking trails
  • Large Pond with 4 Fishing Platforms ( With a few ducks in residence. )
  • Playground for Children
  • Shelter with Picnic Tables and Grills, with a Large Open Field Behind It ( A nice place for game of soccer or baseball. )
  • Men’s and Women’s Restrooms

hunter park fishing docks over pond

 Fishing Docks

hunter park frisbee golf course

Frisbee Golf

Even though we are a cat family, we enjoyed watching folks having a grand time with their dogs. We liked how the big dogs and the little dogs had separate areas. So if you have dogs you will love this park.

The walking trails were fun and we liked how they looped through the woods and around the pond. It was very busy the day we went, but we will go back as it has a lot to offer.

Being outdoors in nature is a wonderful place to connect with your family or your honey. So hope you too will get re-introduced to Hunter Park if you have not been in a while.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hunter Park is located at:

Five Ways to Protect Your Relationship When You Are Crazy Busy

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couple-communicating

 

We all at times feel the intense pressure to do more, to achieve more, to be more. Not all bad. But when it affects our relationships we have to stop and take a look at what we can do to protect the most valuable thing in our existence – “Our Relationships”.

I think there is a difference between a “Full Life” and a “Crazy Busy, Over the Top, Exhausting Life”. We are all unique and different as to what we thrive in and what puts us over the top. And in addition, our relationships are all unique, but at the same time similar. No relationship can withstand – a no water and no sunlight environment. So here are some things to consider as you work on the balance of work and relationships.

Five Ways to Protect Your Relationship When You Are Crazy Busy

  1. Listen to Your Body – When you feel you are so busy that you are falling apart – not enough sleep, not time to eat properly or to take a break you will probably find your body trying to tell you there is something wrong.  You will find that you don’t feel well, you feel anxious, you might even feel like you are falling apart. And then for some, (I am in this category) you will get sick. Basically your body takes over and shuts you down to get a rest. Of course this shut down will only get you more behind. So much better to just listen to your body. Plus, you can be more bright and effective when you are caring for yourself. Ultimately, unless you protect yourselves you will not be able to protect your relationships. So listen to that magnificent body of yours. It knows what is doing and is created to help you do what you are meant to do.
  2. Listen to Your Loved Ones –  Try to really hear what your loved ones are saying to you. Are they complaining that they never see you or that you never do anything together? Do they say you never talk to them – that you are not communicating enough? Are they shutting down and not communicating with you? These are all signs that your work has begun to disrupt your relationships.
  3. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate –  You cannot do this enough. This is a real key for your relationships. Taking time to communicate what is going on that is taking you away from your loved ones is important. At least you are acknowledging that you know it is affecting your family life and that you care. Explain why it is important to spend the time away. Maybe it is to keep the money coming to keep everything afloat. Maybe it is to make sure there is enough money for the kids to go to college. Sometimes giving the specifics of how critical it is that you do put in the extra time can make a difference in how your family views this time away.   Reminding of the real reason you work can help. Having a conversation about what your family needs and wants and what everyone may need to do to make this happen can help. Ask your family what is important to them. You may be surprised.  It is different for each family. Acting as a team is an approach that can help you support one another. Also, coordinating your “business” can be helpful as to making sure your “off” time is the same.
  4. Prioritizing What is Most Important – This can be hard at times as we will have competing things that will both be validly equal. Providing for our family and time with family are two common ones that arise. They are both important of course. It means really listening and being attuned to our loved ones to make sure we keep this balanced. At times we will have to give more focus to one than the other. If a family member is really needing you, this may mean that work will  have to take a back seat for a bit.
  5. Setting & Keeping Boundaries – This can help us stay on the path of balance. And this can be a hard one. With our technology, our offices now extend to our homes, to our cars, to anywhere our laptops, smart phones, iPads can go. I think it is about being thoughtful about what we want our boundaries to be with our work and our technology and then being disciplined in keeping to what we feel is most healthy for our families. It pays off to be fully focused on our loved ones when it is their time. That time really means something as to really “being there” and isn’t that what most of us really want “to be there for each other”. So keep those boundaries, your family will love you for it.

 

 

couple-love-each-other

 

There are extra benefits to spending “off time” with our loved ones. I think taking time to be with our loved ones can rejuvenate us to do a better job with our work. So even if it feels like we are not giving our work our full focus, it may be in reality what we need most for our work. It can give us our most fresh, rested self to do the most awesome job we can with our work. So here is to lots of R and R with your loved ones.

 

 

 

Be Happy for You and Your Relationship

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woman outside looking happy

It may feel seeking happiness is a bit selfish. But it is not.  Being happy puts you in a place that allows you to show your best side to your loved ones. It makes a real difference in our relationships. I am sure many of you have heard the old saying, “If Mama ain’t happy, nobody is happy.” Well there may be some truth to that. Of course this saying includes Dads as well.  It is hard to be with someone who is not happy. And if the “not happy feelings” are more long-term they can affect others wanting to spend time with you, thus disrupting your relationship. In addition, children model their parents, so if you are modeling being unhappy, you may find your children follow this path. So taking time to be happy is a good thing for you and your family.

Ways to bring more happiness into your life and in turn to your loved ones. 

  • Check in with yourself and see if you feel you are doing what you want to do with your life. We all want to feel we have a purpose for our lives. This may be different at different stages of our lives. So be flexible with your thinking on this one.
  • Decide to find happiness in the NOW. Waiting until a particular thing happens or changes steals your opportunity to be happy at the present time. Yes we may need to make changes, but finding the things that we are currently grateful for can put us on the road to happiness in the present moment.
  • Keep a daily  ‘gratitude journal’, listing 3-5 things a day that you are grateful or glad about. 
  • Hang with Happy People. We are affected by those around us. When we choose to spend most of our time with others who are happy we begin to feel more happy too.
  • Make a list of things you love to do.  Include these things as regularly in your life as possible. You deserve it!
  • Acknowledge and honor your unhappy feelings, with then coming to a place where you can CHOOSE to BE HAPPY.  Use of positive self talk and affirmations that promote these happy feelings that you want to have can be a big help in this process.
  • Talk to others when you feel happy. As humans we tend to be drawn to wanting to talk about what is making us unhappy. When we choose to talk more about what makes us happy, we get more of those feelings.

dad kissing young child

Being happy is not just for you, it is for your loved ones and those around you. Best wishes in your path to finding the happiness you were created to have.

Three Must Do Things to “Connect and Rejuvenate” on Your SPRING BREAK

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family riding bikes

Many of you are getting ready to take spring break trips or take off time to be with your children during this official “time off” for your children. Some of you may not be able to take off official time, but plan to do a few special things with your children during this time frame. Regardless, we all want to make the best of this precious time we have with our families.

Here are three “Must Do Things” to “Connect & Rejuvenate” on your Spring Break.

1. Put some “OFF TIME” in your Spring Break. We are all so “ON” all of the time that our bodies need so badly to stop and recuperate. Yes we want to do some special, fun activities with our children. And this is important. But, remember to consider your pacing of activities so you don’t feel like you are running a race, but have time to relax and enjoy with pleasure each activity you put in place. Some like to alternate more active and more quite activities. Of course, the age of your children will make a difference. This “OFF TIME” allows you the space to really connect.

2. “BE WITH” your loved ones. This is more that doing an activity with your family. It is really focusing on and giving your full attention to your children and your spouse. This involves listening, reflecting and sharing thoughtfully – true communication.

3. Include some “TECHNOLOGY FREE TIME” in your plans. Of course we cannot chuck our iPhones for a full week, but we can take breaks from our technology. This includes our cell phones, our i pads, our lap tops, our face book accounts, our tweeting, our emailing, etc., etc. We can choose not to allow these items for ourselves as adults and for our children for certain activities or time periods.

These simple three items can increase your chances of connecting and rejuvenating during spring break regardless of your plans.

family swimming

Remember spring break is   .  .  .

  • a “break” from being in ON mode and a time for rest & relaxation
  • a “break” from your work and a time for your family
  • A” break” from your technology and a time for personal one on one with your family

Happy Spring Break to you all. Enjoy these precious moments with your loved ones!

Can I Have This Dance?

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couple dancing black and white

Want to keep connected? Consider dancing. This activity is one in which we move our bodies in rhythm with each other, connecting physically as well as emotionally.  It feels so good to move in time together. You may be thinking, well . . .  I don’t know how to dance. So this won’t work for me. There is an answer, Dance Lessons.

Why you might want to consider Dance Lessons?

  • It is an activity that you both can do together.
  • It is an activity in which you are engaging fully with each other.
  • It is a message to each other that you want to be up close and personal with your partner or spouse.
  • It feels good to accomplish a new skill together.
  • It is fun!

Some things to consider as a “beginner”

  • Keep in mind that everyone starts at some point in their history not knowing anything. So it is ok not to know what you are doing. None of us do in the beginning.
  • Consider a variety of options: Community Education Intro Classes through the Public Schools, Group or Individual Lessons at a Private Dance Studio or by a Private Dance Instructor.
  • Find an instructor that is positive and a fit for you.
  • Start with one kind of  dance and get comfortable with it before  starting with more.
  • The more you practice the better you get. On the other hand if you can only devote to one class a week, enjoy the time you do have.
  • Have fun with this. Laugh at your mistakes and keep it light. And keep on going. No one cares about your mistakes.
  • Know that it will take time to learn to dance. It is a process, so enjoy the journey.

As someone who has worn beginner’s dance shoes, I would just say “Hang In There”. It feels so good as things begin to click into place and you begin to feel you can really dance.

Hope you will consider this wonderful couple’s activity. You are never too old to learn. It is well worth your time and energy!

Tulsa Children’s Museum – Creating Playful Family Connections

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dad and child at tulsa children's museum

Looking for a playful, connecting family activity? Try a Children’s Museum. Tulsa has it’s very own museum for families with young children to middle school age children. Tulsa Children’s Museum Discovery Lab has interactive exhibits for active play and engagement. The three main current exhibits are:

Tulsa Tape & Tunnels – a 30 foot slide and bridge made from packing tape

child on packing tape slide at tcm

Make Shop – creating activities that explore sound, electricity, robots, etc. These activities change weekly.

make-shop at tcm

boys make shop at tcm

Toddler Area – active play and exploration for babies and toddlers / young children.

toddler area at TCM

Tulsa Children’s Museum Discovery Lab

560 North Maybelle, Tulsa OK  (in Owen Park, northwest of downtown)

Monday – Saturday     9:30 am – 5:00 pm

Sundays     11:30 am – 5:00 pm

$5.00 Admission ( Under 2 Free)

Contact Number: 918-295-8144

Website: www.tulsachildrensmuseum.org

The museum exhibits are changed out 2-3 times a year. There are three main areas in one large room.  In addition, classes are offered for children 1st grade – 6th grade. Check out their website for current listings. Spring break classes are currently listed.

Tulsa Children’s Museum promotes the program STEM, which promotes Science, Technology, Engineering and Math. And is partnered with the RECESS program which provides Health & Wellness Programs.

This is a wonderful Tulsa treasure and has such wonderful opportunities to play and connect with each other as a family; plus learn and grow. It is all win – win. So if you have not discovered this Tulsa gem, give it a try!  Your children will love you for it.

Note: If you do not live in Tulsa, check out your own community for a Children’s Museum.

Laughing Your Way to a Better Relationship

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How can fun, laughter, and  playfulness create a better relationship? First of all this trio of “feel good” can translate to a “feel good relationship”. 

laughing couple closeup

Don’t we all want to laugh and feel light-hearted? Of course we do!  We just have to make the effort and take the time to set the environment to do so. Here are a few tips to LAUGH YOUR WAY TO A BETTER RELATIONSHIP:

1. First of all take a trip down memory lane and remember how good it feels to laugh and be playful, shedding the serious business of making a living, being a good parent, buying groceries, etc. This is not to say that these things cannot bring joy also. They can. BUT . . . when we are feeling free from worry and stress, we can feel so much more joy and happiness. So why not let it be with our loved one.

2. Make fun, laughter, and playfulness a priority. Schedule it in. Make it happen. Because it can make YOU feel better and in turn help YOUR RELATIONSHIP to feel alive and well.

3. Plan specifically for “down time” with your significant other or spouse, including playful, fun time. This will look different for different couples. If you don’t know what this might look like, then brainstorm to come up with some things you both could potentially enjoy that is light and playful. This could range from going to a funny movie together to going to the zoo to playing miniature golf to playing a game of your choosing, etc.

4. If you have very little time to “make this playfulness a part of your life” then consider some ONE MINUTE bursts of laughter and playfulness. HOW IS THAT you say. Well . . . here are a few ideas:

  • Laugh at yourself when you “mess up” and share the funny “mess up” with your loved one., creating an atmosphere of lightheartedness. 
  • Create a fun and playful greeting ritual.(maybe a hip bump or pinky hug or whatever you can come up with)
  • Show your Good MOOD, with bursts of silly, playful behavior. For example: Instead of quick kiss hello, you do an exaggerated row of 5 or 6 kisses. Your good mood will very likely rub off on your partner.
  • Tell of something funny or humorous that happened at work or home. It may be something as simple as your pet’s antics.
  • Playful teasing and bantering can create connection. We just want to make sure the teasing is fun and light, with no sensitive, potential hurtful interaction. We are talking “flirting”.

5. Visualize and create an intention that you will be happy and full of joy and will share that feeling with your sweetheart. As I like to say, “You Get What You Think.”

Laughing-Older-Couple-Credit-iStockphoto-93469681-630x419

These breaks of playfulness and fun can create a strong connection. These times create an oasis from the sometimes difficult challenges we deal with on a day-to-day basis.

So I hope you will get busy . . Laughing Your Way to a Better Relationship!

“Weekly Jar of Blessings” to Remind of All That is GOOD in Our Relationship

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Want to focus on the good in your relationship? It is so easy to get stuck in the “negative”. So for many of us finding concrete ways to do this is helpful. The more we focus on the GOOD the more we get of it. It is the basic law of attraction. 

weekly blessing jar

One activity that you might consider is to create a Weekly Jar of Blessings. This can be used as a Couple or as a Parent / Child Activity. I would think that mid elementary children could participate easily in this activity.

1. Use a pretty jar or container to place what you feel are your “relationship blessings” as they occur during the week.

2. Simply write down on a piece of paper what you appreciate that your spouse or partner (or child) has done that you feel like is a blessing  (this may be phrased as a compliment or acknowledgment of something that you appreciated)

OR write down something you have done together that  you enjoyed.

Note:  Do this as it occurs each day or as soon as you can so you can remember these special things you are doing for each other or have chosen to do together to keep your relationship strong and healthy.

Some examples of Appreciation:

FOR COUPLES “Thank you _____________ for taking time to make me my favorite Italian meal. It hit the spot and was comforting on what was otherwise a hard day.” OR “Thank you _________________ for listening to me when I was so upset about the phone call from the school.” 

FOR PARENTS AND CHILDREN OR TEENS “Thank you _________ for helping to clean the house today. It was such a big help.” Dad  OR “Thank you ____________ for taking time to tell me about what was going on at school today. I love to hear about what your day is like.” Mom

Some examples of Acknowledging What You are Doing as a COUPLE  or PARENT / CHILD OR TEEN to Stay Connected:

FOR COUPLES ” ___________ I was so excited we took the time to have a date night tonight. These times out mean a lot to me.” OR “____________I love how we cooked our supper together tonight. It gave us extra time to talk and be with each other.” OR “___________Having some grownup talk after the kids were in bed last night felt so nice.”

FOR PARENTS AND CHILDREN OR TEENS ” ___________, I am so glad we all went to the park today. It was so much fun hanging out together. Mom”  OR ” ______________, I love reading books with you before we go to bed at night.” Dad

Note: Signing and dating your notes can add a layer of meaningfulness if you want to look back at your notes later.

3. Place your Weekly Jar of Blessings in a Prominent Place. This can be a nice reminder that GOOD things are happening!

4. Take time at the end of the week to take a look together at what you did that mattered and what each of you appreciated about the other. If you are doing a parent / child or family jar of blessings, you will want to make sure you have been fairly even as to your compliments or comments to the different children in your family.

5. Empty your jar of weekly blessings into a larger container or box, etc that will hold a large amount (maybe for the year or whatever you feel makes sense) and then store these away. You can label your box with  a label “Weekly Blessings – February 2014 to February 2015”.

6. Then start your weekly blessing jar again for the next week.

This is a lovely way to really appreciate each other and find out what helps you to stay connected. When we write something it seems to create a deeper memory and have a more lasting effect. So even though this may mean a bit of effort it is so worth it!

You may find your own version of this Weekly Jar of Blessings. Do what fits for you. It may mean an abbreviated version of what is outlined above.  Here are to many voiced words of appreciation and acknowledgments of all the GOOD that is going on in your relationship.

Note: I would like to give credit to Jennifer Grace for the foundation idea of using a jar to collect good feelings.

What Your Loved One REALLY wants for Valentines Day

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What does your loved ones REALLY want for Valentine’s Day? They want “YOU” in the purest sense. They want your focus and attention and love! I have listed some ideas on how you can accomplish this. These general ideas can be for a spouse, partner, significant other or your child.

Bezggggnzvu

How to show your loved one that YOU are there for them on Valentine’s day?

1. Planning ahead can mean so much in showing  your loved ones that you matter to them. We plan for work, for our activities outside of work, etc. So planning for our loved ones who are a high priority for us makes sense. It is a message of “YOU are important to me!”

2. Setting up time to BE WITH your loved one. This means physically and emotionally. If for whatever the reason if it can not be on “the day”, then make sure you plan an alternate day that you designate as your special time together. Having time together shows your commitment to them.

3. Communicate and plan jointly as to what you will be doing.  As you plan what you will do really talk to each other about what is a good fit as to interest and enjoyability. All shows your true intent to give a gift of time and interest in pleasing the other.

4. To Gift or Not to Gift? Valentine’s gifts for some are important and others not so much.  Know your loved one. A gift of a special experience or activity may be just the ticket. Others may enjoy a more traditional gift – flowers, jewelry, chocolates, etc. Even with a traditional gift, making it to fit uniquely makes it extra special. If you know your sweetheart loves a particular color or kind of something, choose that of course. A coupon book of “Things You Will Do” for your Loved One can be fun. A special “hand made” card for your honey can hit the mark for many. Or a special home cooked meal of their very favorite foods can be a treat for some. It is your thought and use of your knowledge of your loved one that really counts. Not so much the cost of something. 

5. Consider doing Valentine’s Day more than one time a year. All of the things we try to do for Valentine’s Day can be things we do on a regular basis. This is what our loved ones want to feel connected and special – FOCUS, ATTENTION, and LOVE! 

happy couple

Jenks Family Indoor Swim, Jenks Planetarium Shows . . . Fun for All in the Tulsa Area

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Looking for some “Family Fun”. Check out Jenks OK Community Ed Programs. Two fun programs that I would like to highlight here are their Family Fun Swim and the Jenks Planetarium Shows. You do not have to live in Jenks, OK to attend their community education events. You do have to pay 1% more than a Jenks school resident, but the fees are so very reasonable that this really does not add up to much. So check it out.

Family-in-pool

JENKS FAMILY FUN SWIM

I was so pleased to hear that the Jenks Aquatic Center is available to the public at scheduled times. This pool is on the Jenks High School Campus. One of the special programs is the Family Fun Swim. This is an open swim for parents and their children. Minimum pool depth is 3.5 feet and temp is 82-84 degrees. This is an indoor pool.  Lap lanes are available in the Competition Pool. Times available for swimming are: Fridays 6:00-7:30 pm and Saturdays 10:00 am – 2:00 pm. Fees are $5. per sessopm for Jenks adult school district residents and $5.25 for non Jenks school district residents adults and then  $3.00 for children who are Jenks school district residents and $3.15 for children who are non Jenks school district residents. Sign up for this program is through Jenks Community Ed.

jenks planetarium

JENKS PLANETARIUM SHOWS

The Jenks Planetarium is housed in the new Math and Science Building on the Jenks Central Campus. This planetarium is on the 3rd floor. It is 50 foot, 120 seat SciDome high-definition planetarium. When I called to check on ages for this new facility I was told it is for all ages – children, teens and adults. They host regular shows. Some of the upcoming shows are:

The Winter Sky (Ages 8 and up) 2-6-14, Thursday,  8:00 – 9:00 pm $5.00

Spaceship T.A.T.U.M (Ages 3 and up) 2-13-14, Thursday, 7:00 – 8:00 pm  $5.00

Astrology : A Story of You (Ages 14 and up) 2-27-14, Thursday,  7:00 -8:00 pm  $5.00

The Sistine Chapel (Ages 14 and up) 3-25-14, Tuesday, 7:00 – 8:00 pm  $5.00 

Earth, Moon and Sun (Ages 3 and up) 3-27-14, Thursday, 7:00 – 8:00 pm $5.00

How to Use My Telescope (Ages 8 and up) 4–3-14, Thursday, 8:00 – 9:00 pm  $5.00

Animals of the Sky (Ages 3 and up) 4-10-14, Thursday, 7:00 – 8:00 pm  $5.00

Oasis in Space (Ages 14 and up) 4-24-14, Thursday, 7:00 – 8:00 pm  $5.00

Spaceship T.A.T.U.M. (Ages 3 and up) 5-1-14, Thursday, 7:00 – 8:00  pm  $5.00

The Spring Sky (Ages 8 and up) 5-8-14, Thursday, 8:00 – 9:00 pm  $5.00

Astrology: A Story of You (Ages 14 and up) 5-22-14, Thursday, 7:00 – 8:00 pm  $5.00

Earth Moon and Sun (Ages 3 and up) 5-29-14, Thursday, 7:00 – 8:00 pm  $5.00

jenks planetarium sign

You must enroll through Jenks Community Ed in advance to have access to these special showings. Seating is limited. A detailed description of each of the programs is in their catalog on their website.

Contact Information for Jenks Community Ed:

918-298-0340  Office hours are: 7:30 am – 4:00 pm

www.jenkscommunityed.com

You can enroll by phone or via their website.

Note: Finding quality fun family activities can sometimes feel challenging. These two activities are sure to delight your children and offer an opportunity to build your relationship with these fun, healthy and educational events. I might also note that most school districts offer community education classes. So check your own chlld’s school or surrounding schools in your area for other possible family activities.

I might also note the planetarium may be a fun COUPLE ACTIVITY if you are interested in space and astrology. I was told by the Jenks Community Office, the planetarium is geared for all ages.