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Tag Archives: Mental Health
5 Ways to Help You Get Through the Holidays if You Are Grieving
The holidays can be stressful for all of us. If you have had a recent loss or even one that is significant and years ago, it is even more challenging. We are all unique in how we grieve and that is important to take into account as to looking at the strategies I have listed. Doing what is best for you and your children is what is a general guiding principle.
1. ASSESS WHAT YOU & YOUR CHILDREN NEED FOR THE UPCOMING HOLIDAYS
Some questions that may help you access what you need.
- What does your gut say what you need for yourself and / or for your children?
- What kind of triggers are coming up for you and / or your children as the holidays approach? Note: Your children can be a toddler or a young adult or a not so young adult. They are always our children and part of being a parent is to help them through hard times.
- What do you feel would be too much for you and your children?
- What do you feel would feel best for you? Being at home? Activities outside of home? With what kind of balance?
- Who do you want to be with / who feels supportive and really gets what is going on for you?
- Are there some things that you absolutely do not want to do during the holidays?
- Is there a way or ways you want to honor the person you have lost throughout the holidays?
2. DEVELOP A CUSTOM PLAN THAT IS BEST FOR YOU WITH SETTING NEEDED BOUNDARIES
- Plan early.
- Be flexible. Have some plan B’s. Consider not forcing what it turns out you really do not want to do in regard to what you originally planned. Or just feels like it is too much. It is ok to shift to what is needed.
- Try to be respectful of your children’s grieving style, especially if it is different than yours. And be respectful of your own as well.
- Decide what folks you want to spend time with and set up these together times early on so they can get be set in the busy holiday season. Plan as many get togethers as you feel you and your children need or want.
- Sometimes we have well meaning friends or family that want us to do something we are not ready to do or may never want to do. This is up to us. We know what is best for us. We can respectably set boundaries or do what makes the most sense for us.
3. REMEMBERING ALL OF YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID AND THERE IS NO NORMAL
- As we grieve, we find that our feelings are like waves – up and down. It is ok to feel all of our feelings, the uncomfortable, distressing feelings and it is ok as well to have happy feelings too. Accepting our hard feelings is the first step in healing.
- We will always have parts of the person we lost with us. And it is ok to miss them. And it is ok to continue a relationship with them, just in a different way. Incorporating what our individual beliefs are about after death can be helpful. This will vary for each person.
4. WHAT KIND OF SUPPORT DO YOU NEED &. PUTTING IT IN PLACE EARLY
- Putting things in place early is important. This is particularly important with our support people. Everyone’s schedules get very busy during holiday months. And for most of us, we have an inner circle of people that really get us and help us through our toughest times. It is not a bad. thing to broaden our support network, just for this reason noted.
- Of course, it may be a friend, a family member or a church or group we identify with that know what we are going through. This can help us to not feel so alone. Of course, some. people feel we are never truly alone, depending on your beliefs.
5. COPING STRATEGIES FOR THE HOLIDAYS
Having some ‘go to coping strategies’ for our grief is helpful. There is nothing wrong with expressing our feelings, but there may be times we choose to shift and reach for a better feeling. For some this is when we know we are going to be in a group and we want to keep it together or it may be we want to be in more calm and together way if we feel our children need this from us if they are going through a tough time. Or to be functional at our work place. For the purpose of this brief blog article, I will list general options you can explore. Keep note of what works for you.
- Deep Breathing
- Positive Affirmations or Positive Self Talk
- Tapping
- Havening
- Journaling
- Meditation
- Yoga
- Walking Outside or Any Kind of Movement
- Eye Rest – Progressive Relaxation
- Container for Upset or Passing on to Higher Power
- Pleasant Distraction
- Soft, Relaxing Music or Healing Music
- Being Out in Nature
- Having a Form of Communication with the Person Who Has Passed
- Regular Time Being with a Trusted Support Person Who Gets You and Does Not Judge
- Working with a Therapist on a Regular Basis
- Taking Grief Breaks / Doing Something You Enjoy
Online Oklahoma Women’s Grief Group – Connection and Support for the Holidays
For those of you who live in OK, I am offering an Online Oklahoma’s Women’s Group – Connection & Support During the Holidays. This will be held November 4 – December 9 on Tuesday mornings, 9:00 -10:30 am, Oklahoma Central Time.
Click the link below at the bottom of this page to see more detailed information on this upcoming group. Registration is due by this Friday, October 31, as this group starts next Tuesday, 9:00 – 10:30 am ,November 4 – December 9.
Contact Tanna to register: 918-749-1550 or tanna@stromtherapy.com
I can also do custom groups and can see individuals or families for grief counselling – In Person or Online. You can find out more about my practice on my website: www.stromtherapy.com
Below is the link to the flyer for the “Online, OK Women’s Grief Group – Connection and Support for the Holidays” I am offering.
https://t.e2ma.net/webview/xuq03h/ede4eccf8619d1cddbd6b1e506419fc1
You Are Not Alone, Grief Support Group for Women Who Have Lost Their Husbands
Hello. My name is Tanna Strom and I am a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Licensed Marital & Family Therapist in the state of Oklahoma. I have significant training and experience in working with individuals who are grieving. I am in process of starting an online grief group for woman who have lost their husbands. This group is for those who live in the state of Oklahoma.
You Are Not Alone – Support for Women Who Have Lost Their Spouse
Facilitated by Tanna K Strom, LMFT, LPC-S, RPT-S, Clinical EFT Certified Practitioner
You Are Not Alone – Support for Women Who Have Lost Their Husbands
- Weekly, Online, Closed Support Grief Group
- Wednesdays, 12 – 1 pm
- September 10 – October 15. 2025
- 6 Week Interactive Group, New Topic Each Week
- Limit of 10 to Keep Interactive for All
- Register By September 3, 2025
- Open to Anyone in Oklahoma
Finding Your Path On Your Grief Journey
The focus will be as follows:
There is a topical focus for each of the 6 meetings. The agenda will be flexible taking into account the needs of the group members.
September 10 – The Grief Journey
September 17 – Finding Support
September 24 – Our Feelings
October 1 – Coping Strategies
October 8 – More Coping Strategies
October 15 – Finding Purpose
Note 1 : There will be a handout with practical information sent to each member after each session.
Note 2: Bring Lunch If You Wish As This Meeting is Noon Time.
The group is a balance of support and practical information to consider for use to help at this time.
How to Sign Up
Please call me if you want to sign up or if you have questions. This will help us to decide if this group is a fit for you.
My business number is 918-749 – 1550. OR you may email me at tanna@stromtherapy.com or simply respond to this email. Fees for this online support for the 6 week series is $150. and needed to reserve your spot for this 10 person group.
This is a place where all beliefs are respected in regard to the passing of one’s spouse. All of our grief journeys are unique. It is a place to feel connected and safe.
I look forward to sharing part of your grief journey. You are not alone. If you want to know more about me, go to my website www.stromtherapy.com
“What if . . . ?” Creating Hope and Positive Momentum to Feeling Better
As a therapist, I am always looking for ways to introduce hope and open the door to feeling better. Sometimes we get stuck in feelings that do not feel good.
The Focus Being on the Positive “What If . . . ?” opposed to the Negative “What If . . . ?”
We all have probably at one time or another said with worry, “What if it doesn’t work out?” “What if the doctor’s report comes back bad?” Etc. These are normal. The “What If . . . ?” I am introducing is flipping the script on these negative “What If . . . ?” to positive “What If . . . ?” This can help open us to hope and a way to better feelings.
Our Feelings Are Our Guidance System
I am not discounting upset feelings. In fact, I embrace and accept and acknowledge all feelings. As I know that this is the first step in our journey to feeling better. As time goes on and we feel heard and validated, we can begin to work toward letting some hope and good feelings in.
Note: If we are talking about trauma or significant depression or mental health issues this may be a longer road and many times with the help of a licensed therapist or mental health provider.
Examples of Positive “What If . . .?”
“What if I feel better today?”
“What if something good happens today?”
“What if we get along better today?”
“What if I feel less sad today?”
“What if I eat at least one good thing for me today?”
“What if things work out for me?”
“What if I feel more peaceful today?”
What do your positive “What If . . . ?” starter sentences look like? Start your day out with what makes sense for you at the time. For an extra boost, go back to your positive “What If . . . ?” if you feel your self going negative. You can acknowledge the upset and then go to your positive “What if . . ?” that can make you feel better. Best wishes in using this strategy to feel more hopeful, letting in better feelings.
Important Note: This blog is not therapy but a psycho-educational article. If you have a trauma background or significant depression or other mental health issues, a licensed therapist or mental health provider would be best to consult with.
Strom Individual & Family Therapy – Tanna K Strom, LMFT, LPC-S, RPT-S and Clinical Certified EFT Practitioner. Providing In Person and Online Services in Oklahoma. www.stromtherapy.com
It’s the “Little Things” That Make Us Feel Better
Tanna K Strom, LMFT, LPC-S, RPT-S, CCPS, Clinical EFT Certified Practitioner Virtual Therapy for All of Oklahoma We all have times of feeling overwhelm or stress. Maybe anxious. We are all very human and need a way to feel better … Continue reading
Setting Time to Connect
One of the basics for creating a healthy relationship, whether it is a couple relationship or a parent / child relationship is to purposefully set time to connect and be with each other. This is so simple but so powerful. Our “focus and attention” is like water to flowers that bloom and grow. Where we put our time and effort is what will grow and flourish. With our busy lives, for many this means scheduling this time in our calendars. It may also mean setting up regular date nights or family time that is considered priority and not changed unless there is a situation that must be attended too. The rewards are many for these efforts. Here is to taking time to create meaningful, healthy relationships! You and your family are worth it.
creating branches 