What Your Loved One REALLY wants for Valentines Day

What does your loved ones REALLY want for Valentine’s Day? They want “YOU” in the purest sense. They want your focus and attention and love! I have listed some ideas on how you can accomplish this. These general ideas can be for a spouse, partner, significant other or your child.

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How to show your loved one that YOU are there for them on Valentine’s day?

1. Planning ahead can mean so much in showing  your loved ones that you matter to them. We plan for work, for our activities outside of work, etc. So planning for our loved ones who are a high priority for us makes sense. It is a message of “YOU are important to me!”

2. Setting up time to BE WITH your loved one. This means physically and emotionally. If for whatever the reason if it can not be on “the day”, then make sure you plan an alternate day that you designate as your special time together. Having time together shows your commitment to them.

3. Communicate and plan jointly as to what you will be doing.  As you plan what you will do really talk to each other about what is a good fit as to interest and enjoyability. All shows your true intent to give a gift of time and interest in pleasing the other.

4. To Gift or Not to Gift? Valentine’s gifts for some are important and others not so much.  Know your loved one. A gift of a special experience or activity may be just the ticket. Others may enjoy a more traditional gift – flowers, jewelry, chocolates, etc. Even with a traditional gift, making it to fit uniquely makes it extra special. If you know your sweetheart loves a particular color or kind of something, choose that of course. A coupon book of “Things You Will Do” for your Loved One can be fun. A special “hand made” card for your honey can hit the mark for many. Or a special home cooked meal of their very favorite foods can be a treat for some. It is your thought and use of your knowledge of your loved one that really counts. Not so much the cost of something. 

5. Consider doing Valentine’s Day more than one time a year. All of the things we try to do for Valentine’s Day can be things we do on a regular basis. This is what our loved ones want to feel connected and special – FOCUS, ATTENTION, and LOVE! 

happy couple

Jenks Family Indoor Swim, Jenks Planetarium Shows . . . Fun for All in the Tulsa Area

Looking for some “Family Fun”. Check out Jenks OK Community Ed Programs. Two fun programs that I would like to highlight here are their Family Fun Swim and the Jenks Planetarium Shows. You do not have to live in Jenks, OK to attend their community education events. You do have to pay 1% more than a Jenks school resident, but the fees are so very reasonable that this really does not add up to much. So check it out.

Family-in-pool

JENKS FAMILY FUN SWIM

I was so pleased to hear that the Jenks Aquatic Center is available to the public at scheduled times. This pool is on the Jenks High School Campus. One of the special programs is the Family Fun Swim. This is an open swim for parents and their children. Minimum pool depth is 3.5 feet and temp is 82-84 degrees. This is an indoor pool.  Lap lanes are available in the Competition Pool. Times available for swimming are: Fridays 6:00-7:30 pm and Saturdays 10:00 am – 2:00 pm. Fees are $5. per sessopm for Jenks adult school district residents and $5.25 for non Jenks school district residents adults and then  $3.00 for children who are Jenks school district residents and $3.15 for children who are non Jenks school district residents. Sign up for this program is through Jenks Community Ed.

jenks planetarium

JENKS PLANETARIUM SHOWS

The Jenks Planetarium is housed in the new Math and Science Building on the Jenks Central Campus. This planetarium is on the 3rd floor. It is 50 foot, 120 seat SciDome high-definition planetarium. When I called to check on ages for this new facility I was told it is for all ages – children, teens and adults. They host regular shows. Some of the upcoming shows are:

The Winter Sky (Ages 8 and up) 2-6-14, Thursday,  8:00 – 9:00 pm $5.00

Spaceship T.A.T.U.M (Ages 3 and up) 2-13-14, Thursday, 7:00 – 8:00 pm  $5.00

Astrology : A Story of You (Ages 14 and up) 2-27-14, Thursday,  7:00 -8:00 pm  $5.00

The Sistine Chapel (Ages 14 and up) 3-25-14, Tuesday, 7:00 – 8:00 pm  $5.00 

Earth, Moon and Sun (Ages 3 and up) 3-27-14, Thursday, 7:00 – 8:00 pm $5.00

How to Use My Telescope (Ages 8 and up) 4–3-14, Thursday, 8:00 – 9:00 pm  $5.00

Animals of the Sky (Ages 3 and up) 4-10-14, Thursday, 7:00 – 8:00 pm  $5.00

Oasis in Space (Ages 14 and up) 4-24-14, Thursday, 7:00 – 8:00 pm  $5.00

Spaceship T.A.T.U.M. (Ages 3 and up) 5-1-14, Thursday, 7:00 – 8:00  pm  $5.00

The Spring Sky (Ages 8 and up) 5-8-14, Thursday, 8:00 – 9:00 pm  $5.00

Astrology: A Story of You (Ages 14 and up) 5-22-14, Thursday, 7:00 – 8:00 pm  $5.00

Earth Moon and Sun (Ages 3 and up) 5-29-14, Thursday, 7:00 – 8:00 pm  $5.00

jenks planetarium sign

You must enroll through Jenks Community Ed in advance to have access to these special showings. Seating is limited. A detailed description of each of the programs is in their catalog on their website.

Contact Information for Jenks Community Ed:

918-298-0340  Office hours are: 7:30 am – 4:00 pm

www.jenkscommunityed.com

You can enroll by phone or via their website.

Note: Finding quality fun family activities can sometimes feel challenging. These two activities are sure to delight your children and offer an opportunity to build your relationship with these fun, healthy and educational events. I might also note that most school districts offer community education classes. So check your own chlld’s school or surrounding schools in your area for other possible family activities.

I might also note the planetarium may be a fun COUPLE ACTIVITY if you are interested in space and astrology. I was told by the Jenks Community Office, the planetarium is geared for all ages.

Woody Guthrie Center – Downtown Tulsa Activity for Families or Couples

The Woody Guthrie Center in Downtown Tulsa would be a lovely winter’s day activity for families or for couples. It is dedicated to the life and legacy of American folk musician and singer-songwriter Woody Guthrie. This interactive museum is appropriate for mid elementary children and up. The center includes:

woody guthrie center orange close up sign inside

  • The Dust Bowl Section featuring the viewing of a film on the dust bowl as you listen to some of Woody’s Dust Bowl Ballads. (This was one of my favorite areas. Watching what the dust bowl was like was pretty fascinating.)
  • Music Bar for listening to Woody’s music.
  • Lyric writing station where you can have a hand at creating a lyric.
  • Woody’s America interactive map to learn about Woody’s history.
  • Woody’s Footsteps Exhibit.
  • Woody’s Lyric Journal.
  • Woody’s violin, guitar and mandolin.
  • Original, hand written lyrics of “This Land is Your Land”.
  • Woody Guthrie Archives and Research Area
  • Special Exhibit Gallery

woody's america map

Woody Guthrie Center

102 E M.B. Brady Street, Tulsa, OK  74103

918-574-2710

HOURS:

Tuesday – Sunday 10:00 am – 6:00 pm

First Fridays: Open til 9:00 pm

Closed on Mondays

www.woodyguthriecenter.org 

This would be an especially fun trip for any family or couple who like music. And of course if you like Woody Guthrie, you will definitely love this museum!

Reading Together – A Couple or Parent / Child Activity to Connect Intellectually and Emotionally

Reading together is a wonderful way to connect with your loved ones, whether it is with a child, a significant other or a spouse. In our high-tech age, we don’t always think of this kind of activity. On a winter’s day or evening it can be great when outdoor activities are not possible.  Or when it is raining or really for any time that you need to slow down a bit. It is a way to add interest and new things to consider and discuss with one another. Basically a way to connect intellectually and emotionally, a double win!  Below I have shared some possible variations of how “reading together” might be done.

couple reading by fireplace

As a Couple . . .

  • Consider selecting a book that is of interest to both of you. Buy two copies, one for each of you. Or of course you can share or check it out from the library. Read a chapter and discuss.
  • Another possibility is to take turns on selection of which book you read together. This is a bit more adventuresome, but it does mix it up a bit and makes both people stretch. You could read a certain amount and then talk about.
  • You each read your own book but stop at intervals and tell each other what is going on with your book and what you think about it and have a conversation about it.
  • Instead of a book, you could do an article from a magazine, newspaper, something on-line, etc. Again discussion following.
  • One of you reads to the other. This is especially nice when one of you is ill.  Sometimes this can be spontaneous when one of you finds something of interest that you feel your loved one might find of interest.

As a Family . . .

  • Drop Everything and Read Time. Some folks call this DEAR time. Everyone can read whatever they like and then after a certain amount of time each person can share a bit of what they were reading. Questions can be asked or discussions can develop. And maybe as you do this you can have a snack together. You can have a regular time you do this as a family or set it up when you feel it is a good fit for your family to do.
  • Select a book to all read at the same time and to discuss. Maybe one chapter at a time.
  • Read Aloud Time: Family members take turns picking something to read to their family. This could be a very short story or a poem or a chapter of a book or a quote. This might be done on family night or be done as part of Family Meeting Time. It could be done where only one “read aloud” happens per time or each person does a short read aloud. Discussion can follow.

family reading together

As a Parent / Child Activity . . . 

  • Let your child choose a book and you take turns reading it together. You can talk about what each of your thoughts are afterwards.
  • You read to your child. Invitation for discussion afterwards.

Hope you will have lots of cuddle up time soon to do some reading together. You won’t be sorry you did!

Taking Time to “BE WITH Your Loved Ones” During the Holidays

Taking time to “BE WITH” your loved ones is not about adding in another activity or going another place. Even though it can be connecting to go someplace you all want to go and enjoy the experience together. To “BE WITH” is more about an internal state of being.

couple-talking8-saidaonline

To “BE WITH’ will specifically involve the following:

  • S L O W I N G  down to set up the needed foundation for being with someone. This can be a real challenge for all of us, especially in the busy holiday season. But it is possible and doable.  It may mean we have to make choices about what we do with our time. And choosing not to do certain things or changing how we do them.
  • Finding times that are good for  others to have this slowed down real interaction time is important too. Basically staying attuned to your loved ones and trying to sync up with each other. It may be you have to schedule this “BE WITH” time in your calendar. Of course this happening on a spontaneous basis also is important for any relationship.
  • To “BE WITH” someone is about really  being in that time and space with them fully – focusing only on them , listening will full attention and responding in a way that they know that they have really been heard.  This kind of full focus feels so wonderfully connecting .
  • Listen carefully to your loved one and reflect what you think they said. This acknowledging of their feeling is integral part of someone really feeling heard. It can be helpful to avoid rushing in with your advice or opinion.
  • Being with children will include actively playing with them. For young children this is how they express themselves and how they connect with others.

mom playing with infant with ball

Enjoy this wonderful gift you are giving to each other. Because it is a gift – one of giving your true self to each other. Relish this slowed down, moment to moment time with each other.  Happy Holidays!

Christmas Compliments to Your Loved Ones – The BEST Gift Ever

“Christmas Compliments” are something I have used in the past and when I do I find them to be the BEST gift ever! Why is that? Well, it can be very rewarding when you trade “Christmas Compliments” with your family members. Letting each other know what you like about each other can go a long way to building and strengthening relationships. Family life can feel stressful and hard at times, especially as a parent when you are setting limits and children are not always so happy with these necessary boundaries. Or maybe as a couple you are feeling like you are way to negative with each other.

christmas stockings

So I hope you will consider this holiday season a time to balance what you are putting out there with words of acknowledgement of what you like about your loved ones. There is more than one way to give each other Christmas Compliments. Some possible ways you might consider are:

  • Have each family member write out (or dictate to a parent to write) a compliment for all the other members of the family. They can be deposited in the Christmas stockings and read when stockings are opened on Christmas morning or at the appropriate time.  If your children still thinks Santa brings their gifts and fills their stockings you may want to choose another option. For example: Each family member could have a special Christmas tin where their compliments are left. This option would allow them to have a fun place to keep their compliments too. Having each person put their name with their compliments makes them more meaningful.
  • Family members can wrap up the compliments like a gift for each other or use envelopes to put their compliments in for each other.
  • Have each family member verbally give each of the other members a compliment at one of your holiday meals.
  • One variation is using the 12 days of Christmas theme and for twelve days before Christmas each person gives other members a compliment. The Christmas tin or a Christmas cup may work well with this variation. Of you could have a nightly dinner ritual where you verbally share your compliments.
  • Use your imagination and personal knowledge of your family in finding ways to modify and use this potential strategy to appreciate each other more.

It may be necessary to explain what you mean by a compliment. Older children will of course pretty much know what you are talking about, but younger ones may not be so sure. You will have your own words. Some possible things you might include are: A compliment is something you say to another person that makes them feel good. It can be something that you liked that they did or something you admired that they did. It is positive and not negative. It is something the other person will like hearing.

Note: This can also be done as a couple. It can be just as fun and uplifting.

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Connecting While Giving to Others – A Holiday Service Project for Your Family

Looking for ways to connect with your family during the holidays? Consider doing a family or couple project in which you are helping others who are in need. Not only can it be a way to connect on a deeper level with your loved ones, but it can be a wonderful way of instilling the value of helping others to your children.  And of course helping someone need!

givinghearts

Here are some things to consider with a Family or Couple Service Project:

  1. Who do we want to help? This is a great time to do some braining storming as a couple or as a family. It can be a time when you each can share what you feel is worthwhile to give to, what you each feel passionate about. And then practicing cooperatively coming to a conclusion about what service project you do. You may even choose to do more than one project.
  2. Are you going to volunteer time, give money or gifts? There are lots of options in all of these categories. Listed below are a few general ideas.
  • Gently used items – toys, household goods, etc can be donated to a non profit agency.
  • Collecting food as a family for a non profit group or shopping for food together to give to a non profit group that serves those who need help with food.
  • Participating in an Angel Tree that is in your community.
  • Bake cookies or holiday treats for the Homeless Shelter or a Nursing Home or whatever group you feel would like this kind of thing.
  • Have a party and have participants bring a particular item for your project. For example: All who come to the party bring mittens or hats for a Christmas tree that you decorate at the party for those in need. Or you could have folks bring canned goods to set under a tree. Then later you take it to an agency that you know can use it.
  • Donate some time at a non profit agency. Call non profit groups and see what kinds of things they need help with.

  3. Treat your family to a special treat or fun time after your service project and talk about all you have been blessed with.

Note: This is an activity that will work for couples also. No children required!

THANKS”GIVING” – Expressing Thankfulness and Kindness as a Family Holiday Activity

THANKS”GIVING” is a time to be thankful for all we have. It is a wonderful time for all of us to reflect on all we have to be thankful for and to share that with one another. It is the beginning of the holiday season and a time to decide what we will do with the holidays ahead.

 

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I was listening to a broadcast on Hayhouse Radio today in which the speaker was talking about the concept of THANKS”GIVING” being an opportunity to not only be thankful for the good in our life, but a time to give back to others sharing something they can be thankful for. I like this idea! This incorporates two powerful ideas that can make us truly happy – being thankful and giving / acts of kindness to others.

So I hope you will consider using this idea as a springboard for letting your family members know why you are thankful for them and then consciously give back to your loved ones – passing on an act of kindness to them.  I am including two potential concrete activities to consider in connection with this general concept.

  1. I challenge you to choose to do this each day during the upcoming holidays. Think of something you are thankful for each day with one of your family members or loved ones and tell them what it is. And follow-up the same day with forwarding on an act of kindness to them.
  2. Of course this can be done outside of your family too. You could on purpose do this as a family project in which each of your reports at the evening meal or whenever you see each other all together who you thanked or gave some appreciation to AND then what act of kindness you did for someone that day. This could be a weekly check-in if daily is too much or not possible. This would be a time to reflect on what each of you have been thankful for and also what acts of kindness each of you have consciously chosen to do.

christmas heart tree

Here is to the wonderful holidays ahead and the many opportunities they give us to contemplate our blessings and give back to others!

“What We Are Thankful For . . . ” Activities for Families and Couples

Focusing on what we are thankful for is always uplifting and helpful on keeping us on the right track. When our lives are filled with appreciation and thankfulness we feel joyful and happy. So . . . what better time to begin this kind of daily practice but at Thanksgiving time!

Family at the dinner table at the Thanksgiving day.

One activity that I feel is a great Thanksgiving meal activity is when the family or participants each tells something that they are feeling thankful for.  This can be done with a variety of “starter statements”. Pick what you feel best fits your family or gathering of people.

“Let’s each go around the table and tell what we are most thankful for that has taken place this last year.”

“Let’s each go around the table and tell of something we are feeling thankful for.”

“Let’s each go around the table and tell of some things that have happened recently that we are feeling thankful for.”

“Let’s go around the table and each tell of something that we feel thankful for in regard to our family. ”

  • You can combine some of these above statements or make up your own ‘starter statement’. You will probably know what might work best  for your family or gathering.
  • I would also suggest that you be the one to start the process to get it going. You can even set up another member of two ahead of time who would be willing to share to get things going.
  • You can also set it up with your starter statement suggesting that those who would like to share something they are thankful for can do so. Basically giving an “out” for those who are not comfortable doing this activity. If nothing else it gets those folks thinking about being thankful and models for them an attitude of ‘thankfulness’. I have done some activities in the past that are similar in nature as to taking turns sharing, going around a room or table and have found some folks are just not very comfortable doing this kind of sharing. Forcing sharing is probably not the most helpful. This kind of statement might look like the following:

“As it is Thanksgiving, I thought it might be fitting to let anyone who wants to share about what they are feeling most thankful about to share with the group as we are eating our Thanksgiving meal.”

You can alter this statement to focus on whatever you feel is most fitting for your family or gathering.

Here are three more concrete, fun ways to express feelings of thankfulness during Thanksgiving.

  • Create a paper turkey and cut out some paper feathers for folks to share their feelings of thanks by putting them on the feathers and then attaching them to the turkey. Folks can write what they are thankful for and then sign at the bottom of the statement written. OR create a turkey with a base in which everyone can stick feathers that are attached to toothpicks into it. Folks can use the feathers to fill in things they are thankful for. Another possibility would be each person creating their own turkey and placing their own collection of feathers in it. The base for these kinds of projects can be an apple or pear or pinecone or anything that makes you think of a base for a turkey.  Or you could have a turkey making table with a variety of food pieces or craft materials to create a turkey, along with feathers to create the thankful thoughts.  I can see a fun creative activity for kids and adults alike.

thankgiving turkey with feathers

  • Use butcher paper or some kind of roll paper to cover your Thanksgiving tables and have crayons available for children and adults to draw pictures or write on your paper cloth what they are feeling thankful for. Another option might be each person making a Thanksgiving placemat with their thankful thoughts or pictures on it. 
  • Have a tent name tag at each place setting at your Thanksgiving table and have each person write their name on one side and what they are thankful for on the other side. They can add their own decorative work to their name tag. This could be done before the meal or during.

NOTES:

1.These activities can be done as a couple too. Sometimes we feel these kinds of activities have to be done in a larger group. They actually can be done very well in a small group or couple format just as well. In fact, you may find more personal feelings of thankfulness coming out of these smaller groups.

2. The verbal sharing of what we are thankful for can be done as an ongoing activity at your mealtimes or other group activities, such as weekly family meetings, etc. You could choose one night a week, for example each Wednesday night or every Sunday night or whatever meal you all share together on a regular basis will work. This can be so much more than just a Thanksgiving activity, but a ritual of being thankful for what we are blessed with. Hope you have an opportunity to verbalize your feelings of appreciation and gratitude on a regular basis with your family. It has a way of creating more good things in our lives. So here is to remembering our blessings!

Enjoy Oxley Nature Center with Your Family or Your Honey

oxley nature center fall treesOxley Nature Center’s 9 miles of trails would be so very fun with all the fall color right now. But it has it’s beauty with all of the different seasons. The trials are available 7 days a week. Please check their website for specific information about hours. www.oxleynaturecenter.org  You will also find the maps on their website. Oxley Nature Center is part of Mohawk Park near the Tulsa zoo. The website has directions. You might also check out their Facebook page.

This could be a great activity for you as a family or you as a couple. You can do the trails on your own or you can take advantage of the Saturday programs that are offered. When you go into the website, click the program tab for information on the variety of programs offered by Oxley Nature Center. Some of the Programs offered are:

Saturday Morning Bird Walks

Family Adventures

Butterfly Walks

Earth Science Walks

Botany Walks

Full Moon Walk Programs

Night Walks

Weekend Tours (for groups of 6 or more)

There is a Nature Store that is part of the Oxley-Yetter Interpretive Building. Check it out.

oxley nature center dad with child on shoulders

A nature walk is a perfect opportunity for a couple or a family to connect with each other. Choosing to have everyone not use their phones during the walk, will even enhance the opportunity to connect and interact with each other. We have found these trails to be easy to walk, but very interesting with lots to see. This includes abundant birds and wildlife. Best wishes for a beautiful day out in nature with your family.