Story Time in the Garden and Little Green Thumbs – Tulsa Garden Center, Summer 2013

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Looking for a fun summer parent / child activities that involve nature themes.  Check out the Tulsa Garden Center’s summer programs for children 2013.  Story Time in the Garden and Little Green Thumbs and the Kid’s Corner in the Linnaaeus Visitor’s Barn are three specific summer programs that are designed for children and their parents. Here are some of the particulars of these activities.

Story Time in the Garden, Summer 2013

Tulsa Garden Center, Linnaeus Teaching Garden – Outdoor Classroom (just behind the statue of Carl Linnaeus)

2435 S. Peoria, Tulsa, OK

10:00 am, Thursdays

June, July and August

Preschool – Second Grade

Picture Books, plus an Activity in the Linnaeus Garden  (check website for specific dates and topics)

FREE Admission

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Little Green Thumbs, Summer 2013

Tulsa Garden Center, Linnaeus Garden Center

2435 S. Peoria, Tulsa, OK

Every Third Saturday, 9:30 – 11:30 am, April – September

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June 8th – Wiggly Worms and Compost

July 13th – Incredible Edibles – Veggies / Herbs

August 10th  – Birds in the Garden

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Ages 4-11 years (children 4-7 must be accompanied by an adult)

Pre-registration is required.  Contact: 918-748-5125

$10. per class for TGC members and $15. per class for non members.

Learning Activities in the “Kid’s Corner” of the Linnaeus Visitor’s Barn  (themed activities changed monthly)

  • East Wall – Potting Tables with Garden Activities to Share with Children
  • North Table – Books, Notes and Things to Do with Younger Children
  • South Table – Activity Basket with Laminated Sheets and Dry Erase Markers for Parents and Their Children to Take into the Garden; plus,  Garden Experiment

FREE

For detailed information look at Tulsa Garden Center’s website: www.tulsagardencenter.com .

Does Food Affect Your Relationship?

 

0629-couple-eat-dinner_liCan food affect our relationship with our spouse or partner???

I think the answer would be YES. There are many factors that come into play.  A few of them might be:

  1. How do each of us view food? Do we see it as a source of pleasure? Do we see it as needed for a healthy body, for energy and healing? Do we see it as part of our culture? 
  2. Whose job is it to prepare the food?
  3. Do we eat out or eat in?
  4. Where do we eat? At a dinner table or in front of a TV?
  5. Are there certain set times we eat? 
  6. How much do we spend on food?
  7. Do we eat conventional or organic? Does it matter to us?
  8. How much time do we need to spend on food preparation?
  9. Do we want boxed / canned food or fresh food? Do we care?
  10. Do we like to try new foods? Do we like the same foods?
  11. Do we have a right to restrict or discourage our partner or spouse from eating certain foods?
  12. If we have children, what kind of things should they eat or not eat?

These and many more are part of a very complex relationship between food and couples. Our family of origin and our backgrounds will affect how we see food and all the many decisions we face each day about food. How we handle differences about food is affected by our parents and the culture we grew up in also.

Having a discussion can help you begin to put together a complex puzzle of how you can potentially develop a healthy approach to food as a couple.  You will have some things you agree on and some you do not. How you resolve these issues will make a difference. Is there a healthy balance as to how you handle differences?

 Sometimes strong differences may mean each doing what they need to do, in conjunction with balancing and compromising where possible. 

Food is life and it does make a difference in our relationships. So consider taking time to really talk and find ways to work with each other’s ideas and preferences, but still be true to your own ideas.  

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Cooking Together as a Couple or Family – The Perfect Activity for Fun and Connection

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Cooking together can be an incredibly fun and connecting activity for couples and families.  Yes at times cooking can feel like it is a chore if we are tired and overloaded; especially, if we are doing it by our lonesome with no one helping. But together it can lighten this activity, infusing energy and time to talk and interact, something we all could use a bit more of. That said, if you are in an incredibly bad mood or need to be by your self, you may want to wait as some patience and tolerance is part of cooking together.

Cooking as a couple and cooking as a family will have some different dynamics. Cooking as a family with children requires more plan ahead and time alloted.  Cooking as a couple (if no children are involved) can be down right romantic and can be a bit more spontaneous. Just remember you may have different ideas on how to make something. Accepting this and avoiding being rigid as to how something should be made will help to keep it positive.

Here are some considerations in planning and cooking together as a couple or as a family. 

  • Including a planning piece can help to alleviate frustration and disappointment. Of course, at times everyone cooking together may need to be more spontaneous. But if possible, planning what you want and having the needed ingredients can sure make it a more smooth process.  Planning might include:
  1. What is on the menu? Choosing to plan this together can gain more cooperation and encourage a more team approach. This would of course be the most helpful if this is done before you do grocery shopping. Incorporating some things that each person likes can go toward a more satisfying meal for everyone. 
  2. If this is a family activity, are the dishes planned ones that have parts that the younger children can help with?  For example: tearing lettuce leaves, stirring a batter, throwing in specific ingredients, etc. 
  • Patience, tolerance and non perfectionism are some of the main ingredients for cooking as a family. Children are children and they will need to help according to their skill level. The process here is so much more important than the product. RELAXING and EMBRACING the MESS is part of it. 
  • Making sure there is enough time is important as children will slow the process.
  • Having a small healthy snack or appetizer before you start cooking may keep everyone more pleasant and patient.
  • If little ones are involved having a place set up that is safe for their involvement is important.
  • ENCOURAGING and PRAISING each other makes the process so much sweeter, whether it is as a couple or as a family. 
  • Planning a themed meal can be fun. For example: Mexican, Italian, etc or a Tea Party or a Backyard Picnic.


Note: As this is Memorial Day Weekend, you could plan a meal that honors a family member that is no longer with you, who has passed on. For example: Grandpa John’s grilled corn or Grandma Sue’s apple pie.  The idea here would be to include some dishes that the person was famous for making or a dish that they loved, etc.  This would encourage conversation and a time of remembering of our loved ones and their contributions to our food traditions. 

Happy Cooking!!!

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Tulsa Rose Garden, Tulsa Garden Center and Woodward Park – A Triple Hit for Mother’s Day (or any spring or summer day)

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You can’t beat the lovely combination of the Tulsa Rose Garden, Tulsa Garden Center and Woodward Park, all rolled into one. The Tulsa Rose Garden is at 24th and Peoria, right next to Woodward Park which is at 21st and Peoria. And the Tulsa Garden Center is on the other side of the Rose Garden. Linnaeus Teaching Garden is behind the Rose Garden and Tulsa Garden Center. These are all FREE to the public.

It is a wonderful time to visit as roses are in bloom and it is Mother’s Day Weekend.  Of course this is a triple hit for any sunny day or early evening for families and for couples.  Walking in 4 and 1/2 acres of roses is heaven. The Rose Garden in done in an Italian Renaissance style with 5 terraces and a reflecting pool. 

Take time to enjoy what nature has to offer at this time of year. This is a sure hit with moms, families and a fun place for a romantic get-a-way. 

ENJOY!!!

Making Moms Feel Special with Love and Gratitude

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No matter if  mom is a new mom, a mom with teenagers or one with adult children, she wants to feel loved and appreciated for what she does.  So how can children and dads help mom feel their love and gratitude?  Here are a few basics ingredients that should give you a winning combination in making the mom in your family feel special.

A Recipe for Making Mom’s Feel Special 

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1. Set aside TIME to be with the mom in your family.  “We vote with our feet as to what is most important to us.”

2. Prepare Mom by letting her know you WANT TO SPEND TIME with her.

3. Add in TIME liberally.

3. Add in CURIOUSITY  and LISTENING.  Asking how she is, how she is doing, how she is feeling, etc.

4. Add in APPRECIATION.  Tell mom what you appreciate about her. Use descriptive praise in detailing out what she does that you are grateful for. These words of gratitude are powerful and help her to know that her efforts and acts of love are not going unnoticed.

5. Stir in a big heap of  HELP when she needs it, without asking!  She will love this and feel that her love and caring is coming back full circle.

6. Frost with LOVE. Verbally tell mom that you love her or write a special note with your words of affection. You will have our own special way of expressing your love, whether it be a letter, a poem, a drawing or special gift that is uniquely suited to your mom. Small, thoughtful gifts throughout the year are a lovely way of reminding mom you are thinking of her. It is not the cost of the gift, but the thoughtful timing and presentation of something that is a true fit for your mom.

7. Sprinkle with DAD MODELING FOR CHILDREN LOVE and GRATITUDE TOWARD MOM. If your children are young (or not so young) your leadership in modeling love and gratitude can make all the difference in the world. THANK YOU, DAD!!!

Baking Time: FOREVER

Yields: MOMS WHO FEEL LOVED AND APPRECIATED

Family (or Couple) Travel Game – Mutual Story Telling – Builds Communication and Cooperation

As parents we know that children (well, actually adults too) can just last so long in the car before they become bored. Here is a game that can be used as a family or as a couple.

Here are some of the benefits of the MUTUAL STORY TELLING GAME:

  • This is a communication game in which careful listening is required by all players.
  • It encourages creativity and using your imagination.
  • Working together as a group is critical to making this mutual story telling successful.
  • It is also a cooperation game opposed to a competitive game. This story telling builds on what each person says.
  • There is no technology involved,  just your family.
  • Potential joint problem solving.

The Mutual Story Telling Game

Equipment Needed: None

Ages: 4 years and up; This can be used as a family game or as a couple game.

1.  Explain to family members how the game works. Keep it simple and consider the developmental age of your children. The explanation could be something like the following :

“We are going to tell a story together. There is going to be a beginning, a middle and an end. One of us will start with  – Once upon a time ….. Then then after a sentence or two, the next person will take over the story and

add something to the story that goes with what the first person started and then the next person will add something else, etc.

2.  It is important to note there is no wrong or right way for the story to be told or created. It may be a silly, fantasy story or a more serious one.  Whatever the members what to create is the order of the day.  This is also something you can relay to the family so they know that this is fun with no specific expectations or wrong or rights. Note:  If, as a parent, if you are concerned with the direction of the story you can add in with your parts ways to balance and interject your thoughts without judging or correcting.

2.  One possibility is to have a designated end time set up in the beginning that everyone is aware of. The ages of your children and the interest level may help decide this or you can decide as a group. Five minutes can give everyone several turns and not extend it out so long that folks become bored. You can always choose to end early if you feel interest is being lost, by simply saying lets each take one more turn and have our ending. You want this to be a positive experience. Note: An alarm timer on your cell phone can be set as a neutral time-keeper and then when that goes off you can each have one final turn.

3.  As to ending the story, you can have the person who started it, end it OR you can have another family member end the story. Deciding in the beginning who will end will help alleviate arguments.  

4. If there is enough interest, you can take turns starting a story, creating additional family stories.

Special Note: You might consider “Recording the Story” as it is told to create a fun family memory. Many cell phones have an audio record device.

The important thing is to have fun and enjoy the process of CREATING SOMETHING TOGETHER AS A FAMILY!

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COUPLE VARIATION ♥♥♥

This activity can be done as a couple also. This will probably work best when there is some time involved, like an out-of-town trip, when you have miles ahead of you. It also works best when you are both feeling a bit light-hearted and playful and feel like experimenting a bit. It can be a fun bantering kind of playful story that ping pongs back and forth. Give it a try and see what you think. You might consider setting a time limit, like 5 minutes or less if you are just trying it out. As mentioned above you can set an alarm to end your story, with each having one more turn after your timer goes off.

Here is to lots of fun mutual fun story telling as a family or as a couple!

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Annual Oklahoma Steam and Gas Engine Show – Pawnee, OK – May 3rd, 4th and 5th, 2013 – Sort of like a Mini Branson Trip !

Okay guys. This is one is for you! Of course, this is for everyone – males, females, couples and families. There is a little bit of something for everyone. This is an annual Pawnee, OK event,  normally held the 1st weekend of May. A fun out-of-town trip, but not too far, into a small country town. The event is held at the Steam Park Grounds. Adults: $8. per day and $10. for 3-day pass. Children: 12 and under are FREE. 

English: Peerless Steam Threshing Engine in th...

English: Peerless Steam Threshing Engine in the gardens of Pawnee County Courthouse, Pawnee, Oklahoma (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

EVENTS

  • Steam Engines
  • Saw Mill / Shingle Mill
  • Blacksmith
  • Cornmeal Grinding
  • Rock Crusher
  • Quilt Exhibit
  • Rope Making
  • Broom Making
  • Corn Husking
  • Food Booths
  • Old Time Threshing Lecture & Demonstration
  • Case Steam Plowing
  • Parade
  • Steam Engine Spark Show
  • Kiddie Tractor Pull
  • Steam & Tractor Games

For more details and schedule go to www.oklahomathreshers.org

OTHER PAWNEE, OK ATTRACTIONS

Pawnee Bill Ranch & Museum

This is a 500 hundred acre ranch with a museum honoring Pawnee Bill. The ranch has the following to explore:

  • original Ranch blacksmith shop
  • 1903 log cabin
  • Large barn built in 1926
  • Indian Flower Shrine
  • Bison and Buffalo

Ck their website: www.pawneebillranch.com  for details on admission price and schedule.

Special Note: The last three Saturdays in June there are Wild West Shows performed re-creating the original Wild West Shows.

Pawnee Bill Ranch and Museum

Pawnee Bill Ranch and Museum (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Creating a Romantic Picnic in the Park

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It is Spring Time and the flowers are blooming and the grass is green. It  is a time of the year when it is not too hot and not too cold, for the most part. Of course, living in OK you never really know! In general a perfect backdrop for a romantic picnic in the park. One of the other upsides is that it is FREE.

STEPS TO CREATING A ROMANTIC PICNIC IN THE PARK

1. Consider WHICH park you choose for your romantic adventure.

The ones that would be most conducive to romance might be ones that:

  • Are large enough that you can separate yourselves from playground areas that have lots of active children.
  • Have the least road noise
  • Are the most aesthetically pleasing – flower gardens, ponds, etc.
  • Potentially less frequented

2. Think about WHEN to have your picnic. 

  • Possibly choosing a less frequented time.
  • Or think about which day you go. If you have some flexibility this will offer you even more privacy.
  • Consider a breakfast picnic or an evening picnic.
  • A quick, sweet meet in the park during the week at lunch can be novel and fun and send the message to each other that you can take a quick breather with your sack lunch to be with your honey. Of course this means choosing a park that is close to work.  This short burst of time together can be uplifting and help to keep you connected.

3. What to Bring

  • An old blanket to spread out and lay on if you like. 
  • Your favorite picnic foods. But “no worries” if you don’t have time to cook. Stop at your favorite restaurant and take their food the park.
  • Comfortable clothes and shoes to be able to fully relax and walk and explore.

4. What Not to Bring

  • Your cell phone (or turn them on silent to preserve the mood)
  • Your lap top
  • Your paper work
  • Your children
  • Your friends
  • Your problems and issues

5. What to Do

  • Talk
  • Sit and enjoy your surroundings together
  • Feed each other
  • Hold hands
  • Talk a walk around the park together
  • Take pictures of each other or have someone take a picture of the two of you to remember your special time together

Currently in April in OK the azaleas are in bloom, but as you know not for long. Woodward Park in Tulsa has one of the prettiest shows in town and then Muskogee’s Honors Park has a very large display of them. But there are of course beautiful flowers throughout the spring and summer. Plus, fall is a beautiful time for a picnic too.

A listing of Tulsa, OK  parks and their addresses can be located through the following website: www.tulsawalk.com . Click into Parks and Places. You will not only find Tulsa’s parks, but other neighboring OK towns: Catoosa, Bixby, Bartlesville, Broken Arrow, Owasso and Sand Springs.

Hope you have a wonderful picnic, just you and your honey!

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Fun Family Picnics in the Park

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Children love the park. The wide open spaces to run and jump and be active. It is a wonderful place to connect as a family. Children are normally up to go to the park. Plus,  you add food and it is a winner for a family activity. I would like to offer ideas to consider for making this a time that families can connect and find this fun and rewarding.

Putting the “FUN & CONNECTION” in Your Family Picnic

  1. Plan together as to where you will go and when. Plus, what you will take and do when you are there. This extra piece of planning together as a family is connecting and it helps with everyone buying into going. Another possibility is to let each family member have a turn at choosing a park to go to opposed to jointly deciding. This would of course mean that you can plan enough picnics to accommodate all the family members.
  2. Have everyone in the family make or help make a food item to take to the picnic. Contributing is rewarding and can help each family member feel valuable no matter how small.
  3. You might consider everyone choosing an item they want to take to the park – toys or pieces of equipment or materials they wish to bring for fun. Examples: Balls, Frisbees, Sidewalk Chalk, Bubbles, etc.
  4. Have a “technology free” day. Cell phones can be silenced and texting, emailing, etc can be put on hold during your outing. Yes, you may get a few grumbles, but families can be in charge of technology and how it affects their family. Letting your technology have a rest, while you connect face to face is a good thing! Letting everyone know ahead of time can be helpful and it can also offer you the opportunity to explain why – that you want to be truly WITH everyone face to face and without the interruptions of the outside world.
  5. As parents attempting to give all the children a bit of your full attention and focus. It can be quite a balancing act, but worth the effort.
  6. Consider ending the time together as you travel home with everyone reflecting on their favorite parts of the picnic.  This can highlight the good parts of the family activity. Of course there will be hick ups and this is a way to keep focus on the successful parts of the trip.

Check out www.tulsawalk.com  if you need help locating parks in Tulsa, OK. This site also has the park sites for the surrounding OK towns of Catoosa, Bixby, Bartlesville, Broken Arrow, Owasso and Sand Springs.

You might also want to visit the Tulsa County Parks website: www.parks.tulsacounty.org/ .  This has information on the major Parks and Centers, Special Events, Activities, Maps and Reservations.

Hope you have lots of fun family picnics this spring, summer and fall!

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Can Technology Hurt Your Relationships?

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How to balance our technology and our relationships is a complex issue. I feel it is one that is worthy of exploring and contemplating for all of us. As a therapist I see some of the issues that arise for couples and families in regard to technology. My post today is just to encourage us to think about our technology and how it might affect our relationships. This includes both family and couple relationships.

We live in a technology driven world and my guess is that it will continue to be more so in the future. So for me it is about trying to find  BALANCE and MINDFULNESS to use technology wisely. We all have a choice as to when and how we use our technology. 

Some of my concerns revolve around when we choose to use our technology so heavily that we are not interacting with our children or spouses or partners in a way that is needed to stay connected. It is ironic that technology is so many times today associated with social connection.  But with parents saying their children are spending all their time on Facebook or texting and couples expressing the same concern about each other, it raises questions about balance and limits and healthy relationship boundaries. So ….  let us all remember that we have a choice if we take a call, respond to a text or Facebook. We can decide how much time to spend on these activities and the many other technological activities we participate in …. surfing the net, watching endless TV, etc.

Yes, technology can bring us together when used wisely and thoughtfully.  So won’t you join me in this journey to find ways to use our technology with thoughtfulness and care to protect what is most important to us – Our Relationships.  

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